keeping the covenant

Call Me By My Name

2010-01-09T21:38:00.005-05:00

I used to think that the use of pet names between lovers was a show of endearment. To an extent, that is true. But it is also a sign of laziness in some ways. It seems somewhat dishonest because when you use the name you are not assigning that message in a more specific method. "I love you, Boo." Also, pet names are sometimes used to play for the sympathy of the person addressed. "Will you bring me a beer, Sweetie?"

It seems that using a persons given name or even their true nickname is a lost art. Articulation and intonation can bring about the tone of endearment if the effort is sincerely made. How loving it feels to have someone just call me by my name, "I love you, Sheila.'

Sounds sexy to me.

Just call me by my name
Say it softly and say it low
Look me in my eyes
Just before you part your lips
and let my name slip
from betwixt
them.
And when I say something funny
Rock your head back as you laugh
and let MY name bubble up
from your throat
and say my name as you tell me
that I make your day
and when you want to know
how my day was spent
say my name inquisitively
with your neck just slightly bent
and don't forget to vent
to me
as you say my name incredulously
just call me by my name
instead of calling me by a substitute
like you are in pursuit
of suitable nomenclature
I know it's been my nature
to be called something other than my given label
to being who I am - I am now able
and though I am still the same
Just call me by my name

Sheila Lorraine

Benign Neglect - Introduction...

2009-03-30T08:15:00.002-04:00

MY UTERUS IS SUFFERING FROM BENIGN NEGLECT.
When a person is severely mal-nourished, they slowly begin to die. Their stomachs swell as they become physiologically agitated and starved by imbalanced and inconsistant nourishment. It feeds off of itself and eventually will refuse traditional methods of nourishment. The stomach reaches a point where it can no longer perform its intended duties without intervention. The worsening conditioning effects other bodily characteristics and functions. Without resolving the starvation, there is no resolving the other ermerging issues.

What I have described, is the condition of my uterus. I have neglected it by virtue of proper nurishment (diet & spiritual) and care (physical/health). Instead of honoring it every day, I have cursed it for the pain it brings me every month. I didn't realize that the pain and the increase in menstrual flow (up to 3 times per month) was my uterus crying out to me for help and attention. I didn't comprehend the language it spoke and I never tried to take the course to learn the language.

If you want to read the rest of this article, click HERE

~Blow off the dust!

2009-03-22T19:34:00.004-04:00

Well, let me blow the dust off the surface of this blog. Why I left it for so long, I do not know. But I came back for a minute to see what new things I may have learned ... that I didn't realize I'd learned.

I know that my writing things... my thoughts... summaries of my activities... my renewed interests... my shortcomings... well, writing about them, brought them to a place for me to do something about them. Either that, or openly acknowledge that I was not fulfilling my own promises. You know we rarely fool other people, but we are quite proficient at fooling ourselves. And why would we want to? Well, I have a quote up on my Facebook that kind of puts it in perspective for me...

"We take refuge in pride because we are afraid to tell the truth to ourselves."

(Kakuzo Okakura)

Our pride has a tendency of distorting reality. We may find it easy to talk about others being fake or phoney... not being real. But what about ourselves. We do a great job at mascarading and covering up what's real. Now, I am not saying we should not operate in a realm of our aspirations... I believe that is the way to meet the woman or man we aspire to be - we have to practice having those aspired traits. But don't forget what you aspired to grow from. Don't pretend that you can't relate or that you are above someone else who has not yet aspired to grow from from a certain place.

We must always be humble. Let's take some pride in knowing who and what we have come from.

I am fortunate to be able to socialize among some that I can hold as an example in different areas of my life. I take advantage of the fact that I can learn from others, but I never forget that they are moving toward and aspired state of being as well. So, they are not perfect and they will make mistakes. They are open about their mistakes, misunderstandings, and lack of understandings. I find that this quality makes your ground more fertile for the growth you wish to achieve. Humility is a hell of a fertilizer!

Well, this is just a rambling I guess, but it is one that I wanted have with myself, for myself, and for anyone else who is interested and has something to add.

Peace,

shYne

2009-02-21T19:44:00.002-05:00

I freed a thousand slaves. I could have freed a thousand more

if only they knew they were slaves.

Harriet Tubman

Dance in the Rain!

2009-01-19T12:15:00.002-05:00

Life is not learning to survive the storm, it's about learning how to dance in the rain.

Rites of The Lunar Maiden: REALIZATION

2009-01-18T19:58:00.005-05:00

This entry is not meant to be eloquant or "deep". Simply a decision that I have made.

My sister-friend and I have been doing a lot of conversation regarding periods. Yup, menstruation. The lack of it, the abundance of it, the insecurities of it, the purpose of its continuity past a woman's intended benefit, the pains of it, the joys of it, the inconvenience of it and the humiliation of it... we've been discussin' ALL of it.

There have been times in my life that I have been glad to see it come... like my first time. It's arrival let me know that I was normal and on my way to woman-hood. Also, there have been times that I had done the deed that could end in pregnancy, but I didn't want to reap the benefits of unprotected sex with someone with whom I didn't want to share responsibilities of raising a child... I was excited to see my period come on.

Now that I have gotten older and my "temple" is not in the shape it should be in, the menses period of my cycle where I am shedding the blood and tissue that would protect a baby if one was conceived.... now, my periods are painful, the flow is heavy and literally out of control. I have cramps that are just like labor pains, leaving me in tears. I bleed thru multiple tampons (worn at the same time) and a pad within 40 minutes! I am tired of going to the bathroom to make "upgrades" and changes twice an hour. When I bleed thru, I am just simply humiliated. I cry tears of frustration and surrendor. Unfortunately, you can't just quit on having periods unless you have the surgery to make it so.

Now, I have contemplated the "QUIT". Oh yes. Until recently, I was going to have the surgery. I waited patiently for 2009 to get here so that the last of my not-so-terrific-health-insurance coverage would be in place to make it as inexpensive as possible.

Yeah.... I was ready to forego my first step to woman-hood's rites of passage. I've already had three children, I have two more by marriage, and I don't have anything else to prove.

So, why now do I hesitate to get this surgery?

I have had several epiphanies in the recent 30 days. I have literally "seen" the sickness and illness that wants to claim my physical body. I have spoken with the "emotional disease" of misdirection and lack of insight and clear sight, that will surely taint my soul if I don't continue on a spiritual path that I began when I was a child.

What does this have to do with menstruation related circumstances?

Being the core of my woman-hood, the condition of certain organs and organ functions is a thermometer of spiritual function and effectiveness. I believe, though many will disagree, that the condition of my womanly-conditions can be my compass to well-ness. I believe that it will reveal whether or not I am on the right track of my physical AND spiritual wellness journey. I believe that my change in diet will positively effect the growth (and ultimate presence) of my uterine fibroid tumors. I believe that my perception of myself as a woman and mother and wife, and how I obey Spirit in order to live these roles as I am convicted (according to the Sacred Path that I am compelled to follow) will have an effect on the pain, shame, guilt, and isolation that I feel once a month... up to 3 times a month!

I know that isolation is a part of my therapy during my period, but for healing purposes rather than because I am a poison to my family and society.

My understanding or visualization of the menstrual cycle issue is relative to me. I am not saying that it's relevance is anyone elses but mine.

In the end, maybe I will still require surgery... but that will be a revelation of truth within it self, won't it?

My Key

2009-01-15T08:15:00.007-05:00

My new poetry

Is the key

to my destiny
wrapped up
tied up
blended with
combined with
attached to
comes from
due to

where I am headed
. . . . . . . on my spiritual path

Even the morning air smells

of whispered spells

spoken as poetry

but the universe knows its me

who's seeking

soft shadows that resolve the mystery

of my life.

The words I speak

have the power of death

or life

can bring peace

or strife

and has power

to move

those who know how to use

the expressions

proclaimations

the incantations

i choose

My poetry

has protected me

from exposure

I wonder who else knows

that my lyrics flow

to create reality

from the spoken word spells

that swell

and spew from me

I not knowing

the key to my destiny

Had already come to me.

Are You Going My Way?

2009-01-07T08:54:00.008-05:00

“When we open our minds to listen to what another person believes in we are often surprised. Putting aside the fact that different names, and even sexes in some cases, are
used when talking about divinity, it appears that most spiritually-minded people believe that one day they will meet their ultimate source - their God or Goddess, Universal Spirit, Divine Light, Holy Guardian Angel - all different names referring to the same thing. It can therefore be said that we are all heading in the same direction, only on different paths.”
Francis Billinghurst, “Temple of the Dark Moon”

That is how Francis B. (paganist) explains it; this is how I, shYne, (spiritualist by way of Christianity) explain it…

Religions and doctrines and dogmas are like the entrance ramps and rest stops on a busy interstate highway. Though they originate from and are located in different places, they all enter the same Interstate. me a.k.a. shYne
------------------------------------
I view ramps as religions and their starting points as doctrines. There is always a set of principles by which your particular belief is defined and guided within that religion. These principles are similar to principles of other geographical locations of ramp starting points along a master interstate… I mean … similar to other religions.

What often makes and breaks these views as being shared or different than other relationships, is the perspective of the individual person… what is ”doctrine” and what is “dogma”? For that matter, what does it mean to be “indoctrinated”?

DEFINITIONS:

doctrine - a principle or position or the body of principles in a branch of knowledge or system of belief

indoctrinated – to be taught a principle or position or body of principles… yada yada (see above)

dogma – A- something held as an established opinion ; especially : a definite authoritative tenet :a code of such tenets. B- a point of view or tenet put forth as authoritative without adequate grounds. C- a doctrine or body of doctrines concerning faith or morals formally stated and authoritatively proclaimed by a church.

A dogma is like the rest stop. It isn’t coming from any particular place. It sits there. Rarely grows or changes. You can make a pit-stop and take care of some very basic needs (sometimes not even that)… and then you resume your travels down the highway. There is very little “picking up” to help sustain your journey… mostly dropping off waste… at a rest stop, that is.

Just as rest stops are similar, there are similarities of ramps as well. They are “coming from” … somewhere! A winding country road, a rural town, a bustling city…somewhere! From these places of origin, there are attributes of that place or state of being that you will find useful to you on your travels. The actual ramp can be a direct and straight shot that finds itself quickly merged onto the interstate or it can be a winding, technically correct, merger-friendly construction that takes you in a modern, new-age 360 (degrees) and then guide you gently for .75 miles before a merge onto the actual interstate is required.

Either way… you end up on the same interstate as entrance ramps before you have led other travelers.

When I hold conversations with people who seem not to realize that the universal interstate exists, they seem to be very knowledgeable about the towns and cities from whence they come and attentive to the details of their entrance ramps… maybe even of their rest areas. They are either right off the “I” or heading towards it. They have not yet communed with the other travelers and found that there are differently constructed ramps entering the “I” depending on when it was constructed, the type of terrain in the area or what resources were available to construct a particular ramp. These folks may think that if the ramp doesn’t look like their own, it must be entering some other roadway.

I am on a spiritual path, unlike typical religions with labels, but I am on this path via Christianity. There’s no denying that I hold the Christianity Map as my guide. The potential to have a conflict with one who calls themselves a Christian is that my understanding and interpretation of the Word varies so much from how they have been indoctrinated or taught.

But we all pray for the full understanding of Truth and Spirit to assist each others on this life’s journey and are better for it because both the giver of prayer and the recipient of prayer are rewarded and blessed.

Are you going my way?

DAY 9: What's In A Cigarette?

2009-01-07T06:48:00.005-05:00

I am on DAY 9 of my QUIT! I am pleased and proud to have THIS out of my body...

What was I putting in my body for over 20 years?

Cigarettes contain over 4000 chemicals. These include nail polish remover, pesticides, fertilizers and fumigants.

The main ingredients are:

Tar - Tar is the brown, sticky substance that can stain your teeth and fingers. About 70% of the tar is left in smokers' lungs when they inhale cigarette smoke and this causes many serious lung diseases.
Nicotine - Nicotine is a powerful, addictive drug keeps smokers hooked on the product. The level of addiction is comparable to that of cocaine and heroine.
Carbon Monoxide - An odorless, tasteless and poisonous gas. This allow the blood to carry less oxygen and is found in car exhaust as well as cigarettes. Up to 15% of a smoker's blood may be carrying CO instead of oxygen, which means the heart has to work harder, which can cause coronary heart disease and circulation problems.
Ammonia - is found in cleaning fluids.
Arsenic - a deadly poison, used in insecticides.
Formaldehyde - used to preserve dead bodies.
Cadmium - a highly poisonous metal used in batteries.
Shellac - becomes a wood varnish when mixed with a form of alcohol.
Benzene - used as a solvent in fuel and chemical production.
Cyanide - a deadly poison.

Cigarettes also contain the following chemicals: (the only ingredient that sounds interesting is typed in "red"!

Acetanisole, Acetic Acid, Acetoin, Acetophenone, 6-Acetoxydihydrotheaspirane, 2-Acetyl-3- Ethylpyrazine, 2-Acetyl-5-Methylfuran, Acetylpyrazine, 2-Acetylpyridine, 3-Acetylpyridine, 2-Acetylthiazole, Aconitic Acid, dl-Alanine, Alfalfa Extract, Allspice Extract, Oleoresin, And Oil, Allyl Hexanoate, Allyl Ionone, Almond Bitter Oil, Ambergris Tincture, Ammonia, Ammonium Bicarbonate, Ammonium Hydroxide, Ammonium Phosphate Dibasic, Ammonium Sulfide, Amyl Alcohol, Amyl Butyrate, Amyl Formate, Amyl Octanoate, alpha-Amylcinnamaldehyde, Amyris Oil, trans-Anethole, Angelica Root Extract, Oil and Seed Oil, Anise, Anise Star, Extract and Oils, Anisyl Acetate, Anisyl Alcohol, Anisyl Formate, Anisyl Phenylacetate, Apple Juice Concentrate, Extract, and Skins, Apricot Extract and Juice Concentrate, 1-Arginine, Asafetida Fluid Extract And Oil, Ascorbic Acid, 1-Asparagine Monohydrate, 1-Aspartic Acid, Balsam Peru and Oil, Basil Oil, Bay Leaf, Oil and Sweet Oil, Beeswax White, Beet Juice Concentrate, Benzaldehyde, Benzaldehyde Glyceryl Acetal, Benzoic Acid, Benzoin, Benzoin Resin, Benzophenone, Benzyl Alcohol, Benzyl Benzoate, Benzyl Butyrate, Benzyl Cinnamate, Benzyl Propionate, Benzyl Salicylate, Bergamot Oil, Bisabolene, Black Currant Buds Absolute, Borneol, Bornyl Acetate, Buchu Leaf Oil, 1,3-Butanediol, 2,3-Butanedione, 1-Butanol, 2-Butanone, 4(2-Butenylidene)-3,5,5-Trimethyl-2-Cyclohexen-1-One, Butter, Butter Esters, and Butter Oil, Butyl Acetate, Butyl Butyrate, Butyl Butyryl Lactate, Butyl Isovalerate, Butyl Phenylacetate, Butyl Undecylenate, 3-Butylidenephthalide, Butyric Acid, Cadinene, Caffeine, Calcium Carbonate, Camphene, Cananga Oil, Capsicum Oleoresin, Caramel Color, Caraway Oil, Carbon Dioxide, Cardamom Oleoresin, Extract, Seed Oil, and Powder, Carob Bean and Extract, beta-Carotene, Carrot Oil, Carvacrol, 4-Carvomenthenol, 1-Carvone, beta-Caryophyllene, beta-Caryophyllene Oxide, Cascarilla Oil and Bark Extract, Cassia Bark Oil, Cassie Absolute and Oil, Castoreum Extract, Tincture and Absolute, Cedar Leaf Oil, Cedarwood Oil Terpenes and Virginiana, Cedrol, Celery Seed Extract, Solid, Oil, And Oleoresin, Cellulose Fiber, Chamomile Flower Oil And Extract, Chicory Extract, Chocolate, Cinnamaldehyde, Cinnamic Acid, Cinnamon Leaf Oil, Bark Oil, and Extract, Cinnamyl Acetate, Cinnamyl Alcohol, Cinnamyl Cinnamate, Cinnamyl Isovalerate, Cinnamyl Propionate, Citral, Citric Acid, Citronella Oil, dl-Citronellol, Citronellyl Butyrate, Citronellyl Isobutyrate, Civet Absolute, Clary Oil, Clover Tops, Red Solid Extract, Cocoa, Cocoa Shells, Extract, Distillate And Powder, Coconut Oil, Coffee, Cognac White and Green Oil, Copaiba Oil, Coriander Extract and Oil, Corn Oil, Corn Silk, Costus Root Oil, Cubeb Oil, Cuminaldehyde, para-Cymene, 1-Cysteine, Dandelion Root Solid Extract, Davana Oil, 2-trans, 4-trans-Decadienal, delta-Decalactone, gamma-Decalactone, Decanal, Decanoic Acid, 1-Decanol, 2-Decenal, Dehydromenthofurolactone, Diethyl Malonate, Diethyl Sebacate, 2,3-Diethylpyrazine, Dihydro Anethole, 5,7-Dihydro-2-Methylthieno(3,4-D) Pyrimidine, Dill Seed Oil and Extract, meta-Dimethoxybenzene, para-Dimethoxybenzene, 2,6-Dimethoxyphenol, Dimethyl Succinate, 3,4-Dimethyl-1,2-Cyclopentanedione, 3,5- Dimethyl-1,2-Cyclopentanedione, 3,7-Dimethyl-1,3,6-Octatriene, 4,5-Dimethyl-3-Hydroxy-2,5-Dihydrofuran-2-One, 6,10-Dimethyl-5,9-Undecadien-2-One, 3,7-Dimethyl-6-Octenoic Acid, 2,4-Dimethylacetophenone, alpha,para-Dimethylbenzyl Alcohol, alpha,alpha-Dimethylphenethyl Acetate, alpha,alpha Dimethylphenethyl Butyrate, 2,3-Dimethylpyrazine,2,5-Dimethylpyrazine, 2,6-Dimethylpyrazine, Dimethyltetrahydrobenzofuranone, delta-Dodecalactone, gamma-Dodecalactone, para-Ethoxybenzaldehyde, Ethyl 10-Undecenoate, Ethyl 2-Methylbutyrate, Ethyl Acetate, Ethyl Acetoacetate, Ethyl Alcohol, Ethyl Benzoate, Ethyl Butyrate, Ethyl Cinnamate, Ethyl Decanoate, Ethyl Fenchol, Ethyl Furoate, Ethyl Heptanoate, Ethyl Hexanoate, Ethyl Isovalerate, Ethyl Lactate, Ethyl Laurate, Ethyl Levulinate, Ethyl Maltol, Ethyl Methyl Phenylglycidate, Ethyl Myristate, Ethyl Nonanoate, Ethyl Octadecanoate, Ethyl Octanoate, Ethyl Oleate, Ethyl Palmitate, Ethyl Phenylacetate, Ethyl Propionate, Ethyl Salicylate, Ethyl trans-2-Butenoate, Ethyl Valerate, Ethyl Vanillin, 2-Ethyl (or Methyl)-(3,5 and 6)-Methoxypyrazine, 2-Ethyl-1-Hexanol, 3-Ethyl -2 -Hydroxy-2-Cyclopenten-1-One, 2-Ethyl-3, (5 or 6)-Dimethylpyrazine, 5-Ethyl-3-Hydroxy-4-Methyl-2(5H)-Furanone, 2-Ethyl-3-Methylpyrazine, 4-Ethylbenzaldehyde, 4-Ethylguaiacol, para-Ethylphenol, 3-Ethylpyridine, Eucalyptol, Farnesol, D-Fenchone, Fennel Sweet Oil, Fenugreek, Extract, Resin, and Absolute, Fig Juice Concentrate, Food Starch Modified, Furfuryl Mercaptan, 4-(2-Furyl)-3-Buten-2-One, Galbanum Oil, Genet Absolute, Gentian Root Extract, Geraniol, Geranium Rose Oil, Geranyl Acetate, Geranyl Butyrate, Geranyl Formate, Geranyl Isovalerate, Geranyl Phenylacetate, Ginger Oil and Oleoresin, 1-Glutamic Acid, 1-Glutamine, Glycerol, Glycyrrhizin Ammoniated, Grape Juice Concentrate, Guaiac Wood Oil, Guaiacol, Guar Gum, 2,4-Heptadienal, gamma-Heptalactone, Heptanoic Acid, 2-Heptanone, 3-Hepten-2-One, 2-Hepten-4-One, 4-Heptenal, trans -2-Heptenal, Heptyl Acetate, omega-6-Hexadecenlactone, gamma-Hexalactone, Hexanal, Hexanoic AcidMethyl 2-, 2-Hexen-1-Ol, 3-Hexen-1-Ol, cis-3-Hexen-1-Yl Acetate, 2-Hexenal, 3-Hexenoic Acid, trans-2-Hexenoic Acid, cis-3-Hexenyl Formate, Hexyl 2-Methylbutyrate, Hexyl Acetate, Hexyl Alcohol, Hexyl Phenylacetate, 1-Histidine, Honey, Hops Oil, Hydrolyzed Milk Solids, Hydrolyzed Plant Proteins, 5-Hydroxy-2,4-Decadienoic Acid delta- Lactone, 4-Hydroxy-2,5-Dimethyl-3(2H)-Furanone, 2-Hydroxy-3,5,5-Trimethyl-2-Cyclohexen-1-One, 4-Hydroxy -3-Pentenoic Acid Lactone, 2-Hydroxy-4-Methylbenzaldehyde, 4-Hydroxybutanoic Acid Lactone, Hydroxycitronellal, 6-Hydroxydihydrotheaspirane, 4-(para-Hydroxyphenyl)-2-Butanone, Hyssop Oil, Immortelle Absolute and Extract, alpha-Ionone, beta-Ionone, alpha-Irone, Isoamyl Acetate, Isoamyl Benzoate, Isoamyl Butyrate, Isoamyl Cinnamate, Isoamyl Formate, Isoamyl Hexanoate, Isoamyl Isovalerate, Isoamyl Octanoate, Isoamyl Phenylacetate, Isobornyl Acetate, Isobutyl Acetate, Isobutyl Alcohol, Isobutyl Cinnamate, Isobutyl Phenylacetate, Isobutyl Salicylate, 2-Isobutyl-3-Methoxypyrazine, alpha-Isobutylphenethyl Alcohol, Isobutyraldehyde, Isobutyric Acid, d,l-Isoleucine, alpha-Isomethylionone, 2-Isopropylphenol, Isovaleric Acid, Jasmine Absolute, Concrete and Oil, Kola Nut Extract, Labdanum Absolute and Oleoresin, Lactic Acid, Lauric Acid, Lauric Aldehyde, Lavandin Oil, Lavender Oil, Lemon Oil and Extract, Lemongrass Oil, 1-Leucine, Levulinic Acid, Licorice Root, Fluid, Extract and Powder, Lime Oil , Linalool, Linalool Oxide, Linalyl Acetate, Linden Flowers, Lovage Oil And Extract, 1-Lysine, Mace Powder, Extract and Oil , Magnesium Carbonate, Malic Acid, Malt and Malt Extract, Maltodextrin, Maltol, Maltyl Isobutyrate, Mandarin Oil, Maple Syrup and Concentrate, Mate Leaf, Absolute and Oil, para-Mentha-8-Thiol-3-One, Menthol, Menthone, Menthyl Acetate, dl-Methionine, Methoprene, 2-Methoxy-4-Methylphenol, 2-Methoxy-4-Vinylphenol, para-Methoxybenzaldehyde, 1-(para-Methoxyphenyl)-1-Penten-3-One, 4-(para-Methoxyphenyl)-2-Butanone, 1-(para-Methoxyphenyl)-2-Propanone, Methoxypyrazine, Methyl 2-Furoate, Octynoate, Methyl 2-Pyrrolyl Ketone, Methyl Anisate, Methyl Anthranilate, Methyl Benzoate, Methyl Cinnamate, Methyl Dihydrojasmonate, Methyl Ester of Rosin, Partially Hydrogenated, Methyl Isovalerate, Methyl Linoleate (48%), Methyl Linolenate (52%) Mixture, Methyl Naphthyl Ketone, Methyl Nicotinate, Methyl Phenylacetate, Methyl Salicylate, Methyl Sulfide, 3-Methyl-1-Cyclopentadecanone, 4-Methyl-1-Phenyl-2-Pentanone, 5-Methyl-2-Phenyl-2-Hexenal, 5-Methyl-2-Thiophenecarboxaldehyde, 6-Methyl-3,-5-Heptadien-2-One, 2-Methyl-3-(para-Isopropylphenyl) Propionaldehyde, 5-Methyl-3-Hexen-2-One, 1-Methyl-3Methoxy-4-Isopropylbenzene, 4-Methyl-3-Pentene-2-One, 2-Methyl-4-Phenylbutyraldehyde, 6-Methyl-5-Hepten-2-One, 4-Methyl-5-Thiazoleethanol, 4-Methyl-5-Vinylthiazole, Methyl-alpha-Ionone, Methyl-trans-2-Butenoic Acid, 4-Methylacetophenone, para-Methylanisole, alpha-Methylbenzyl Acetate, alpha-Methylbenzyl Alcohol, 2-Methylbutyraldehyde, 3-Methylbutyraldehyde, 2-Methylbutyric Acid, alpha-Methylcinnamaldehyde, Methylcyclopentenolone, 2-Methylheptanoic Acid, 2-Methylhexanoic Acid, 3-Methylpentanoic Acid, 4-Methylpentanoic Acid, 2-Methylpyrazine, 5-Methylquinoxaline, 2-Methyltetrahydrofuran-3-One, (Methylthio)Methylpyrazine (Mixture Of Isomers), 3-Methylthiopropionaldehyde, Methyl 3-Methylthiopropionate, 2-Methylvaleric Acid, Mimosa Absolute and Extract, Molasses Extract and Tincture, Mountain Maple Solid Extract, Mullein Flowers, Myristaldehyde, Myristic Acid, Myrrh Oil, beta-Napthyl Ethyl Ether, Nerol, Neroli Bigarde Oil, Nerolidol, Nona-2-trans,6-cis-Dienal, 2,6-Nonadien-1-Ol, gamma-Nonalactone, Nonanal, Nonanoic Acid, Nonanone, trans-2-Nonen-1-Ol, 2-Nonenal, Nonyl Acetate, Nutmeg Powder and Oil, Oak Chips Extract and Oil, Oak Moss Absolute, 9,12-Octadecadienoic Acid (48%) And 9,12,15-Octadecatrienoic Acid (52%), delta-Octalactone, gamma-Octalactone, Octanal, Octanoic Acid, 1-Octanol, 2-Octanone, 3-Octen-2-One, 1-Octen-3-Ol, 1-Octen-3-Yl Acetate, 2-Octenal, Octyl Isobutyrate, Oleic Acid , Olibanum Oil, Opoponax Oil And Gum, Orange Blossoms Water, Absolute, and Leaf Absolute, Orange Oil and Extract, Origanum Oil, Orris Concrete Oil and Root Extract, Palmarosa Oil, Palmitic Acid, Parsley Seed Oil, Patchouli Oil, omega-Pentadecalactone, 2,3-Pentanedione, 2-Pentanone, 4-Pentenoic Acid, 2-Pentylpyridine, Pepper Oil, Black And White, Peppermint Oil, Peruvian (Bois De Rose) Oil, Petitgrain Absolute, Mandarin Oil and Terpeneless Oil, alpha-Phellandrene, 2-Phenenthyl Acetate, Phenenthyl Alcohol, Phenethyl Butyrate, Phenethyl Cinnamate, Phenethyl Isobutyrate, Phenethyl Isovalerate, Phenethyl Phenylacetate, Phenethyl Salicylate, 1-Phenyl-1-Propanol, 3-Phenyl-1-Propanol, 2-Phenyl-2-Butenal, 4-Phenyl-3-Buten-2-Ol, 4-Phenyl-3-Buten-2-One, Phenylacetaldehyde, Phenylacetic Acid, 1-Phenylalanine, 3-Phenylpropionaldehyde, 3-Phenylpropionic Acid, 3-Phenylpropyl Acetate, 3-Phenylpropyl Cinnamate, 2-(3-Phenylpropyl)Tetrahydrofuran, Phosphoric Acid, Pimenta Leaf Oil, Pine Needle Oil, Pine Oil, Scotch, Pineapple Juice Concentrate, alpha-Pinene, beta-Pinene, D-Piperitone, Piperonal, Pipsissewa Leaf Extract, Plum Juice, Potassium Sorbate, 1-Proline, Propenylguaethol, Propionic Acid, Propyl Acetate, Propyl para-Hydroxybenzoate, Propylene Glycol, 3-Propylidenephthalide, Prune Juice and Concentrate, Pyridine, Pyroligneous Acid And Extract, Pyrrole, Pyruvic Acid, Raisin Juice Concentrate, Rhodinol, Rose Absolute and Oil, Rosemary Oil, Rum, Rum Ether, Rye Extract, Sage, Sage Oil, and Sage Oleoresin, Salicylaldehyde, Sandalwood Oil, Yellow, Sclareolide, Skatole, Smoke Flavor, Snakeroot Oil, Sodium Acetate, Sodium Benzoate, Sodium Bicarbonate, Sodium Carbonate, Sodium Chloride, Sodium Citrate, Sodium Hydroxide, Solanone, Spearmint Oil, Styrax Extract, Gum and Oil, Sucrose Octaacetate, Sugar Alcohols, Sugars, Tagetes Oil, Tannic Acid, Tartaric Acid, Tea Leaf and Absolute, alpha-Terpineol, Terpinolene, Terpinyl Acetate, 5,6,7,8-Tetrahydroquinoxaline, 1,5,5,9-Tetramethyl-13-Oxatricyclo(8.3.0.0(4,9))Tridecane, 2,3,4,5, and 3,4,5,6-Tetramethylethyl-Cyclohexanone, 2,3,5,6-Tetramethylpyrazine, Thiamine Hydrochloride, Thiazole, 1-Threonine, Thyme Oil, White and Red, Thymol, Tobacco Extracts, Tochopherols (mixed), Tolu Balsam Gum and Extract, Tolualdehydes, para-Tolyl 3-Methylbutyrate, para-Tolyl Acetaldehyde, para-Tolyl Acetate, para-Tolyl Isobutyrate, para-Tolyl Phenylacetate, Triacetin, 2-Tridecanone, 2-Tridecenal, Triethyl Citrate, 3,5,5-Trimethyl -1-Hexanol, para,alpha,alpha-Trimethylbenzyl Alcohol, 4-(2,6,6-Trimethylcyclohex-1-Enyl)But-2-En-4-One, 2,6,6-Trimethylcyclohex-2-Ene-1,4-Dione, 2,6,6-Trimethylcyclohexa-1,3-Dienyl Methan, 4-(2,6,6-Trimethylcyclohexa-1,3-Dienyl)But-2-En-4-One, 2,2,6-Trimethylcyclohexanone, 2,3,5-Trimethylpyrazine, 1-Tyrosine, delta-Undercalactone, gamma-Undecalactone, Undecanal, 2-Undecanone, 10-Undecenal, Urea, Valencene, Valeraldehyde, Valerian Root Extract, Oil and Powder, Valeric Acid, gamma-Valerolactone, Valine, Vanilla Extract And Oleoresin, Vanillin, Veratraldehyde, Vetiver Oil, Vinegar, Violet Leaf Absolute, Walnut Hull Extract, Water, Wheat Extract And Flour, Wild Cherry Bark Extract, Wine and Wine Sherry, Xanthan Gum, 3,4-Xylenol, Yeast

What's In A Choice?

2009-01-06T08:27:00.003-05:00

Dear Friend,

You come to me, your friend, with the truth of your life circumstances, laid open and vulnerable in your hands. You have exposed them for my advise? Critique? Reprimand? I am not your judge and will try my best to not ever find myself in a place of judgment against you or anyone else. What seems clear to one is not always clear to another. So, I can’t make to you the “obvious” recommendations. What I CAN do, is explain to you – very generically and generally – what the meaning is of the big picture.

CHOICES

Life is full of choices. They are OUR choices. …choices. When we make the choice, we are making an agreement to have certain life experiences. We agree to have life experiences because there is something to be learned from the experiences. There are certain strengths that are acquired during this experience-having that help us along our individual spiritual path.

Some of the acquisitions don’t seem to feel good or right or righteous. The bible refers to them as sins. The world refers to them as consequences. I refer to them as rewards. Yep… even if they have the characteristic of a sin … this, to me, is a reward! Wouldn’t you agree? I mean, if you make certain choices… knowing the risks, knowing that it goes against what you feel is right for you… but you make the choice anyway, you ARE assuredly REWARDED with the appropriate outcome.

You have just acquired another learning experience! Hallelujah! The Creator lives! The Spirit is still alive within us! We know this, because this is the promise that was recorded as such in the bible, “…reap what you sow”…. Spiritualists have inclusion of this understanding in the concept and philosophy of Karma, it is the yin and yang of other eastern spiritual paths. It is interesting that so many different religions follow the same or similar spiritual paths. Maybe some dot their “i’s” from underneath and cross their “t’s” with a slight slant - but I know it’s an “i” and I know it’s a “t” !

Once you’ve had the experience and you proclaim that you have made a mistake… a mistake for you and for your life (other’s may prefer the outcome), the Creator is so good, that you will be given a re-test.

Sometimes the re-test is easier because you’ve been thru the test so many times it’s not worth the effort of making it difficult because you should now be a professional at this experience that has continued being a repetitious loop in your life story.

Other times there seemS to be tricky nuances that have been added into the same ol’ - same ol’ drama because the haughtiness of our "I’ll-never-make-that-mistake-again-because-I-KNOW-WHEN-TO-STOP-next-time" attitude… you know… the ego and lack of humility creates an environment ripe with Advanced Opportunities in the life experience that we continually choose and continually claim an aversion to the just reward.

So girlfriend, you continue to allow "your members to be at war". It is your allowance. It is your choice. The outcome will also be yours – YOUR reward, that is.

With Love,
shYne

Why Wait For The New Year For A Resolution?

2009-01-01T12:12:00.000-05:00

The future always begins now.

Plan now.
Love now.
Change now.
Forgive now.
Repent now.
Meditate now.
Be thankful now.
Quit smoking now.
Live healthier now.
Be mature now.

Have a peaceful and prosperous New Year and live in your future. shyne

DAY 2: on my "QUIT"

2008-12-31T11:07:00.000-05:00

"I refuse to accept the idea that the 'is'-ness of man's present nature makes him morally incapable of reaching up for the 'ought'-ness that forever confronts him."

- Martin Luther King, Jr.

let freedom ring

2008-12-30T18:46:00.000-05:00

...an unattractive poem for an unattractive situation

i'm one of those...

black power sistahs....
all-about-liberation-so-let-freedom-ring sistahs
a nobody-owns-me-or-tells-me-what-to-do kind of sistah

i refuse to be used by "the man"
or be considered a slave by society....
but i find that i'm a slave
to this stubby white thang....
and would even hurt somebody
if they interfered with my master and me

come between me and my fragile fag
and i will insult you,
threaten you,
and out of my way I will forcefully push you
i will stand outside in the freezing cold
looking like a crack head
toking their first hit for the day....
i will rummage the closet
for change in pants pockets
to come up with the price
that could cost me my life...

no man
no boss
NOR my own mama
can usurp my authority
and still i will pucker up and suck the breath
out of my stubby
white,
power hungry,
addictive laden,
make a nation admit to cravin'
paper and tobacco creation.
.
..
...
just past me that cigarette
before i choke you.
----------------------------------------

I am so thankful that "Spirit" is with me thru this journey!

DAY 1: I'm NOT Going to Smoke TODAY because...

2008-12-30T10:53:00.000-05:00

"Circumstances are the rulers of the weak; they are but the instruments of the wise."

- Samuel Lover

Let the HEALING begin!

2008-12-23T16:03:00.000-05:00

First read, "HeRe CoMeS tHe JuDgE"

Then read, "scales oF JUSTICE"

The Judgmental gene is not yet gone. But, I am aware of its existence and I make consistent efforts to rid myself of this flaw in my personality and my spirit. When I look at J, I don’t see a tragic disaster of motherhood. I see a mother overwhelmed with grief. Her daughter has not left her; but, the daughter she anticipated will not ‘be’. It’s a true loss when compared to the natural expectations and wishes of any mother. Because of the overwhelming nature of it all, there SEEMS to be a level of denial as well. Choices made by J are not thoughtless, but based on the thoughtfulness of another situation and set of circumstances…. circumstances that involve a ‘typical’ child.

My interactions with J are based my support of her efforts to effectively parent her child. I actually do what I can to help J to manage SiSi’s behavior. I listen more and appreciate her efforts to a greater degree than ever before. I don’t just sit back and pity her; I work with her and act as a liaison between her and her fears. Not only have I extended my help to her, but I have made her feel comfortable about telling me when she needs me to step out of a situation to give her the opportunity to work out the situation.

I am not being helpful in order to work my way back into the good graces of the Creator; I am not trying to earn browny points with my peers. What is done is done. I can’t earn self-righteousness with good deeds. I am simply responding to my true realization that J’s situation did not deserve to be judged by me and was given (what I believe to be) a poor judgment at that. I am only behaving as I always should have because I know it’s the right thing to do.

I am very conscious of the fact that an explanation was never something to which I was ever truly entitled. Suppose, she never revealed the truth regarding to her fear and inability in dealing with SiSi’s discipline? Would I have made this realization of my judgmental-ness? Probably not. Would judging her have been any less wrong? No. But I have already begun scripting for the appropriate response for me in any situation where I find myself tempted to allow a judgment to run through my mind or across my lips. My one and only concern should be nothing more than, “I hope they are comfortable in their circumstances.” Or, “I wonder what circumstances allowed (whomever) to feel this way… or be that way.”

There was only one missing piece of the puzzle that changed my whole perception of the big picture. I made the mistake of allowing my brain to make assumptions that distorted the picture. I allowed my ego to size it up and put the puzzle piece in place. It was my own imperfection that allowed the flaw to take root and grow.

What I DID find interesting is that the whole relationship with J changed when I alone changed. The rewarding part of it is that SHE changed once I changed. The effort has been reciprocated. That is the icing on the cake… but I was not basing my change on any offer for desert at all. She is more open and receptive. Rather than see me as a threat – as someone who is trying to take over her daughter, she sees me as someone who is trying to help her get closer to her daughter.

Yeah, yeah… there are still some challenges that exist where J & I are concerned. And these challenges are not based on my thoughts on a matter, but on things that I have actually heard J admit about herself. But I still don’t feel a need to judge her. I simply make a decision whether or not I want to be a participant in other aspects of J’s life and J’s decision making consequences or rewards. There is nothing there for me to like or dislike because it only has an affect on me if I decide for myself to be involved.

Since this defining moment has occurred, I have seen my judgments magnified in other situations and it is amazing how it kind of blazes like a mirror reflecting the sun. My past attitudes were such a waste of energy and effort… not to mention that it set me back spiritually. A spiritual set-back is not a method of staying on one's spiritual path.

I have already accepted change.

the scales oF JUSTICE!

2008-12-23T07:55:00.000-05:00

Justice, as our society recognizes it, is symbolized by the Scales of Justice or Lady Justice. Lady Justice, or "Justicia", is most often depicted with a set of weighing scales suspended from her left hand. Justicia is a Greek Goddess of mythology. Supposedly she measures the strengths of a case's support and opposition; hence, the symbolic scale. She is also often seen carrying a double-edged sword in her right hand which symbolizes the power of Reason and Justice, which may be wielded either for or against any party. Sometimes she is seen wearing a blind-fold which represents her blind impartiality regardless to fear or favor, wealth or poverty, or weakness or strength.

THIS manner of Justice is one to which I am accustomed and accomplished. But this manner of Justice is one that is spiritually debilitating to me.

The manner of Justice that I focus on today, is a part of KARMIC teaching. With the Creator as the judge, the scales will ALWAYS be balanced... but based on what? Well, if I am judged, I will be judged by others. ... and their judgements against me or for me WILL count because I have qualified myself for this opportunity and evaluaton. If I judge harshly, the opposite side of the scale will cause me to be judged me harshly. If I choose not to judge, but assign myself to humility and respect, I will be like-wise compensated for my expenditure of an act of love. In other words, I set the rules for judgement.

If you have not read Part 1 of my Judgement series, please do. 'HeRe CoMeS tHe JuDgE !' shares the life experience that brings about my ephiany and direction to bring judgement to another level.

Yep! You heard me. I am keeping my judgmentalness, but I am going to graduate it for better use. I was born with this power. I am just going to train myself to use it for 'good' instead of 'evil' - figuratively speaking. Spiritually speaking, I am going to use my powers in bringing judgment upon a person in a way that improves that person instead of destroying that person.

I know this sounds a bit "high and mighty", but it is more humbling and more helpful than you may think.

I read something that another author put before supposition:

If one considers it a sin to judge another, does that philosophy itself bring about judgement to the judger? If I exclaim that something isn't "fair", am I passing judgement on this "thing"? So, carefully, I begin to dissect the many ways in which I'd maintained my judgmentalness even while considering myself not standing in judgment of anyone.

Here are MY steps to control this behavior that is not like that of the woman I aspire to be:

1. RESPECT OTHERS DIFFERENCES. When I say to myself that I respect everyone's beliefs even if they are not my own, I must be careful to note that the differences do not eliminate the truth of their belief, but I can JUDGE for myself whether their truth is good for me or resonates with me as a personal understanding and state of existance. Peace comes when I say that I see this thing or that thing as being a truth that I don't embrace for myself. It is not for me on the path that I am on in this life. But it IS true for you. I say this to myself of course... for myself... because my saying it to any other person is not necessary for it to be valid for them. It is true for them whether I have this understanding or not.

2. NEVER ASSUME. When witnessing someone else's circumstances, I am not guarenteed to have all the facts to judge THEM. I can only observe, with the rights to speak on my observations. If I have not cleansed my understanding of the fine line between speaking on my personal convictions of a circumstance and judging that person... I should just shut up! With J (referenced in Part 1), I can speak on the fact that she didn't participate in behavioral control of Si. This is a fact. But to assume that it is "because of" ANY reason, is judgmental.

3. IT'S NOT ALL ABOUT ME. Someone else's behavior is their own life lesson to have. If she didn't tell me why she was unparticipative, that is her business and privilege. I must still refrain from coming to a judgment on the situation. I may never know the motives that drive another to perform a certain way.

4. USE "RIGHT JUDGMENT". The bible is not my only source of spiritual understanding, but it is a source that has some familiarity to most people... so, I use it.

- “Stop judging by mere appearances, and make a right judgment” (John 7:24).
- If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone” (Rom. 12:18)
- They should live “peaceful and quiet lives in all godliness and holiness” (1 Tim. 2:2)
- Ephesians 4:15 refers to—”speaking the truth in love.”

In summary, to use Right Judgement, would mean to not judge a book by it's cover, live in peace with EVERYONE, live a peaceful and quiet life (living without drama and chaos) in all godliness and holiness... (live according to your understood spiritual purpose or path) and speak truth in love.

5. JUDGE YOURSELF. Harshly judge only yourself. If you have a conflicting situation or have a conflict with a person - judge yourself by your reaction to whatever is going on. When I examine/judge myself, the reflection in the mirror appears more clear and I can fix or enhance what I see about myself!

Whenever I have had a conflict and I am at the height of my agitation and anger, my sister-friend, Temple, ALWAYS says to me, "Ask yourself, why you have chosen to have this experience?" The first time she told me to do this, I was pissed! CHOOSE THIS EXPERIENCE, indeed! I didn't hardly choose to be miserable and unhappy. Like I chose to have been in emotionally and abusive relationships... or have to deal with selfish, idiotic people who didn't have a clue! ehem. That is what i thought and said to her. Her only counter was, "Why did you choose to share experiences with the type of people you are describing?" No, she wasn't calling them idiots, but by my own description... with my own experiences.... dealings with these folks were on me!

We are all born into lives that are laden with the choices that we have made to have the type of human experiences that bring us the understandings and healing that we need to make us more like the Creator to whom we are all connected and of whom we are made up. This is true for your mother, your friend, your nemesis, your attacker, your children... the list goes on. This is MY belief and she rocked me at the core of that belief with her question. I could have slapped her - but she'd have slapped me back, you think? (smile)

So, to this day, I continuously ask myself, in regards to J and SiSi and even her father, my husband... everybody & everything..."Why have I CHOSEN to have THIS experience?" Surely, there is a reason. It's not about them; it's about changing something about myself... to become more "me"...to become a more spiritual being.

So let me judge not, that I be not judged. Let me examine myself and speak the truth in love, compassion, and understanding. Let me not present myself as the "last word" on someone else's circumstances and let me go on unto perfection!

My healing has not yet come into play just by this recognition of new laws for judgment in my life. I will apply what I've learned without any expectation of compensation from another. And if I DO receive a form of compensation or recognition, I will not become haughty with self-importance - but even more humbled that the Creator has allowed me to become a participant in his teachings in someone else's life. I will be appreciative that the Creator finds me open to receive the teachings that I need to stay on MY own path.

I acknowledge that my previous vision of my self should be ammended and be replaced by a NEW vision; a RE-vision so-to-speak.

The Scales of Justice will now be used to balance the weight of MY essence and not someone else's.

------------------------------------

PART 2 of 3.

Part 1 - HeRe CoMeS tHe JuDgE !

Part 3 - Let The Healing Begin. (coming soon)

HeRe cOmEs ThE jUdGe !

2008-12-22T21:51:00.000-05:00

I have made a horrible RE-discovery of myself.

First, let me give you a little bit of background.

For 7 years I have shared a challenging relationship with my daughter’s biological mother. I am not describing my daughter’s mother this way to signify anything about her relationship with her daughter. I am describing myself to signify MY relationship with her daughter. We both love her. But, we both have different experiences with SiSi. Because my experience with her seems to demonstrate more control over SiSi and SiSi tends to be attentive to me more-so than her own mother (we’ll call her “J”), I found myself in a place of judgment … again. Yes, this is a roller coaster ride that I’m on. I judge J and then I chide myself for this and try to work thru my issues with J’s lack of participation… then I would find myself judging her all over again.

It seemed to me that even when we were in the same company, SiSi, who is autistic and has behavioral challenges, can make anyone present a potential focus and victim to her tantrums, was left for me to govern. J would back off or just sit there and I was the one who would manage and control the activities that would quiet SiSi.

I found her guilty of being slack.
I judged her as trifling.
I sought maximum penalty for J not WANTING to take care of her own child. I once told her that I would gladly take custody of SiSi and she could be free! I judged her for having the nerve to be angry with my suggestion.

~yeah! al-righty, then...

I just judged her… again and again.

Judgment is a form of prejudice. It’s when you form an opinion of something or someone without having all of the pertinent information.

So, let me get to the meat of this blog. This IS NOT a "bash J" blog. It’s an eye-opener for me and it leads me to a place to improve and heal MYSELF.

This past Saturday, J busted her ass to provide a children’s type birthday party for SiSi. She had not had a party of this sort since she was a baby. Normally, her father and I would provide her with a meal including her favorite food… chicken. We’d have loads of balloons and we would invite her mother and brother over to share in the celebration. We’d cut the cake, open some presents, talk loud with much animation, and call it a night. But J wanted to throw her baby a party.

She had her apartment nicely decorated… with 2 bowls of snacks on the table. Children’s music (not grown up music) was blasting from her stereo. Streamers. She invited guests.

I was impressed and angry at the same time. Impressed with the effort and care with which she decorated and planned. Angry because the snacks on the table were not on the diet that I THOUGHT she agreed to support. Trust me, I am judging the hell out of her for that.

Then I saw the people coming in. I saw a child running in and out of the house. The mother of the child just sat back and talked on the cell phone. J didn’t say a word. I got up and stood by the door because SOMEBODY had to be a “po-lice”! There were very small children present and SiSi does NOT tolerate too many small children. Why are all of these people here? Why am I hearing that she’d invited other co-workers with small children… but FORTUNATELY were unable to make it. THIS is truly NOT SiSi’s scene! There are too many people. Too much noise. Too much activity. She is AUTISTIC! Duh!

Yeah. I went there. Only in my mind, but, I went there.

I “made nice” tempered SiSi through 3 tantrums and then snuck out of the apartment because she had been saying, “Car please. Shoe please. Car please,” for the past hour.

My husband and I get home. Sit in the van for 30 minutes (until it sounds like SiSi is STARTING to calm down - we'd been checking by phone). We go upstairs, lighten the load of our clothes, and get into bed to take a nap. The whole while we are discussing SiSi's obvious displeasure at being left behind. Does this say something about her mother? I don’t think so. No judgment there. But, it does speak to SiSi being spoiled and knowing that she can bully her mother into giving SiSi her way.

Sure enough. I pull the covers up and the fricken phone rings. It’s just what I thought, but then again “NOT”. J was saying that she needed us to pick up SiSi. There is a tirade of screaming going on in the background and it’s obvious that J has been crying for a while. She admits that she can’t do it. She can’t manage SiSi.

Obviously we go and pick up Si from her Mom’s house. There was so much pain in J’s eyes. She sat on the bed and just shook her head and cried… “I can’t do it”. I gave her a hug and a kiss on the forehead. I felt her in a way I never had before. Sure, there will be some times when J pisses me off again about something else… but THIS situation would be off limits to my need to express my “piss-ti-vi-ty”. Speaking with her closest friend later (she has become a friend of mine, too – I’ll call her Lena), Lena told me more of the conversation she’d had with J. J admitted to feeling guilty about SiSi’s autism. So guilty that she could not get tough with her, strongly discipline her, give her boundaries. She was in denial about having an autistic child…. One day SiSi wouldn’t be “like that” and everything would be OK. Hence, the invitation to loads of people who could in no way understand the severity of SiSi’s mood swings, because her Mom wasn’t making truthful admissions to herself or anyone else.

She could not face the fact that her daughter’s father had to be the custodial parent… had to be. Nor that a woman who came in to the scene later was able to do what she couldn’t do. There was no animosity spoken about me per se, but the comparison of ability would always be present.

Humility is a great healing power. That doesn’t mean feeling sorry for J for her hurt feelings. It means being humbled by the truth of what really made J seem uninterested in taking care of her daughter. She felt ill-equipped to do the job. She was afraid that being forceful with Si would make Si not love her. She really CAN’T do "it". And she really WANTS to do "it".

And I felt like an ass. Nope. I’m not gonna have a “beat-down-shYne-party”. That would draw attention to myself in a way that would make me seem like I needed pity and empathy and support in seeing myself as an OK person. I will pay attention to myself and address MY issue.

I did not have all of the facts when I judged J as trifling.

I am prejudiced.
I AM judgmental.

Ilk! (That admission put a nasty taste in my mouth.)

Part 1 of 3

Part 2 - The Scales of Justice. (coming soon)

Part 3 - Let the Healing Begin! (coming soon)

I am Athena.

2008-12-21T21:42:00.000-05:00

The doctor gives one last command. “Push! There you go…” The mother, father, and other birth delivery attendees are witness to a little bit of hustle and bustle.

Slap!

“It’s a girl!”, the doctor proclaims. Just like that a little girl, who will grow up to become a woman, has been exposed as ‘one with powers’ extraordinaire!

But do we use our powers for good or evil... so-to-speak.

You, who have been given the exclusive rights of power as a woman, are blessed with a goddess energy. Maybe even a combination of goddess energies.

Goddess Energy… the study of it and the full understanding of it are not really my forte, but truth resonates within me when I read or hear about goddess archetypes and I can see that they are very descriptive of attributes (both beneficial and debilitating) of women that I know.

I can, if I want to, summarize what has already been written. But, this is a case that I don’t have a personal experience to give this the relevancy that is due to it. I will provide a link to a site that I found and let you study it for yourself if you are interested.

What I will contribute to this blog entry is some self-work that I am doing of myself. I will take a look at some of the archetypes and discover one I feel best describe me. I can actually see a little of me in several goddess archetypes, but there is one that stands out the most.

I won’t go into full detail about the origination, childhood characteristics, adult characteristics and list of experiences that this goddess has reportedly had, but I will offer some comparison to the goddess most like me… the goddess most like Sheila, as shYne, as Mom, as Wife, and as Friend. These are only some of the personal relationship roles that I have been assigned in this lifetime. I am going to journey towards discovery of the goddess energy that best describe how I behave and how I see myself in these roles.

Look into my heart as I look into the mirror.

I feel most like Athena. I am extroverted and independent when I am an artist, when I am called upon to give advice as a counselor, and when I work. Sometimes I am so focused on a task, whether it be a presentation, or whether it be in “fixing” something or someone, I alienate others with by being or appearing judgmental. I so desire to prescribe a treatment that I give a diagnosis which is really a judgment. I desire and work towards freedom and enlightenment for diverse cultures and women. I will use the arts, dabble in politics, bathe in sociology, and now I have encountered and begun to study humanitarianism.

I don’t feel that I am particularly close to my mother and I have not learned a lot about womanhood as I feel and experience it from her. I do, however, feel a different kind of connection. Of course, as I get older and experience more, I am continually feeling closer and more connected to my mother.

I want to know a lot about the things that have meaning to me or that have become a part of my life. I will research on the internet, watch relative programs on TV and order books related to my interests and life dealings from Amazon.com.

I am a fighter. I am a survivor. I am an ambassador of the things which I’ve learned.

I am creative in communication.

I have my share of masculine characteristics. I see myself as forceful, I see myself as strong, I see myself as a protector. I have a side that is not concerned with romance, but relationships of all types are important and are revered. I also use my more masculine charactersistics to cover up some of the soft mushiness that dwells within... as though I see it as a weakness.

Like Athena, my connection with that which is patriarchal, makes connections with that which is matriarchal a challenge. Also, authority is a challenge. Freedom and emancipation is a strong part of who shYne is as a woman.

As a mother, I am endeared to the small baby, but the young child years are trying and sometimes burdensome to a degree that has made me feel incapable of providing the level of nurturing that is needed. I tend to enjoy my children more as the mature and become adults. I like having conversations with them and seeing where they are as young adults.

As a wife, I am close, yet distant at the same time. I will always protect myself… protect my heart. I love my husband as a partner, but not so much as a “Provider of All Things” to me. I have to be able to provide for myself in order to be happy.

As a friend, I am dedicated to a fault. The fault is that I am a “fixer”, which can at times be the “controller”. Abstaining from this behavior takes great effort. But the effort is worth it because when my friends are in need they feel freer to lean on me if necessary. My friends are those that I share common causes. Sine their cause is my cause, I will work for them as I work for myself.

Athena’s dark side: Medusa - intimidating, critical, judgmental toward weakness in others, her air of authority and inapproachability keep others at an emotional distance.

Athena’s wound: Her heart -- out of touch with the two goddesses of love: Demeter, the maternal love, and Aphrodite, sensual love - Her masculine image concealing her vulnerable, underdeveloped inner feminine self--She is emotionally hypersensitive.

Athena’s gift: Today, is to empower women’s contribute to the political, intellectual and creative life of our cities, therefore, elevating the integrity and quality of our civilization by bringing forth the qualities of the feminine which have long been suppressed

I have Athena energy.

With whom do you share the most in common in regards to energy?

http://goddess-power.com/index.htm

Age Before Beauty

2008-12-17T22:09:00.000-05:00

Dedicated to TheActress.

shYne

Many people feel that once we’ve reached a certain age there are personal accomplishments that we should have made. If not, we are past our prime… we’ve missed the boat…

But I've got to tell you, "Age ain’t nothing but a number!"
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It is important for all of us who want to truly “live” for the duration of this lifetime with continued success and opportunities for success – to make a decision about the reality of AGE. Ask yourself, "Is it a clutch or a crutch?" Do you embrace your age, which brings experience and maturity, and wisdom… or do you use your age as an excuse for not trying to make your dreams and aspirations a reality.
.
Are you
..........past your
.....................prime?

--------------------------------

~Past Your Prime~
You know you're past your prime when,

if you brag about having an affair,

someone asks who catered it.
--------------------------------

Girl, It’s Prime Time!

I’m going to share with you a story of someone with whom we are all familiar. I am going to “tell the story” in a chronologically bulleted format so that the focus of my point will really come together...

1917 – Isabel Sanford was born

1930’s - Isabel is a teenager
Isaebel Sanford, a New York native always wanted to act. Because her mother didn’t find it a “realistic dream” for her no-long-hair-dark-skinned but attractive daughter, Sanford would sneak out of the house at night and perform in the local nightclubs. She only confessed to her nighttime activities after winning third place in an amateur contest at the Apollo Theatre. Still, she made her next step into the working world as a cleaning lady instead of an actress.

Around 1940 or so…
Sanford married, had three children and worked in the New York City welfare department as a keypunch operator. Her desire to act didn’t become a reality until she was in her late twenties when she joined the American Negro Theater.

1946 - Isabel is now 29
In 1946 Isabel made her stage debut.

1960 – Isabel is 43
She moved to Los Angeles in 1960 with the hopes of launching a movie career. Sanford acted in bit parts on TV shows such as "Bewitched" and "The Mod Squad," and had a semi-regular spot on "The Carol Burnett Show,"…

1967 – Isabel at 50
It was her performance in the 1965 Broadway production of "Amen Corner" that caught the eye of director Stanley Kramer. He cast her as the sassy, sharp-tongued maid playing opposite Sidney Poitier, Spencer Tracy and Katharine Hepburn, in the 1967 film classic "Guess Who`s Coming to Dinner?"

1970 – Isabel is 53 years old
Three years later, TV producer Norman Lear hired Sandford to play the recurring role of Louise "Weezy" Mills Jefferson, Archie Bunker`s neighbor on the hit TV show "All in the Family."

1975 – Isabel is the tender age of 55
In 1975, the characters of Weezy and her husband George Jefferson (played by Sherman Hemsley) were given their own spin-off sitcom. "The Jeffersons," ran for 11 seasons.

1981 – 66 year old Isabel get’s her “due”.
Sanford won the Emmy for the Best Actress in a Comedy Series in 1981.

Sometime during all of this activity, Isabel was divorced – becoming a single mother of three children.

Although, we may have spotted Isabel Sanford here and there in “other people’s movies” and shows and broadway plays … as an extra or having a “bit” part, most of us consider THE JEFFERSONS her “ship that came in”. Honey, her name was in lights! This role is what put her in Ebony, Jet, and other media formats that graced our coffee tables, end tables, and kitchen tables when WE were growing up.

SHE WAS 53 YEARS OLD when she got this part.

AND for an actress, recognition for your work as an artist would be in the form of an Emmy Award and she was 61 before she got this recognition. Also a part of "her-story" is Isabel's ultimate recognition… she received her star on the Hollywood walk of fame when SHE WAS 86 YEARS OLD.

And in the SAME year - - - she died.

Now, I ask you… are YOU past your prime?

Isabelle was never past hers in regards to her dreams and aspirations. She continued to progress to the end. She was NOT a superstar at the age of 20 or 30 or even 40. But she craved those bright lights and stayed in them or around them as much as she could… even when she worked as a maid… even when she worked as a keypunch operator… even at the risk of getting a beaten by her Mama for sneaking out of the house… even when she was a divorcee raising her kids as a single parent…

Truly her journey in "age" came before the "beauty" of her success….

Or did her journey toward the success of her dreams

cause her to age beautifully?

I’ll take it either way!

----------------------------------------

Quick Success or Progressive Success

In the 80’s there were singing groups and bands that made BIG hits. They made a record with very little recording experience and history (and in some cases, talent) and it was truly a hit… they were known as ONE HIT WONDERS… you know… Anita Ward – “Ring My Bell”, Stacey Lattisaw recorded a few remakes that had her in the limelight for a minute, Amy Stewart remade “Knock On Wood”, Sarah Dash from LaBelle recorded “Sinner Man”. They would shake things up a bit and *poof* they were gone!

And then there are artists like Tina Turner, Patti LaBelle, Aretha Franklin, Gladys Knight, Diana Ross.. there are too many songs to list for over too many years. They just got better... no, they GET better with age… but then they were on a creative path with a particular style that they were born with and refined thru the years… old or new… you know when it’s one of these aged genius’ that is singing…. It is THEIR OWN style.

And what about Apple or Dell? Apple brought this computer age in to the light… but Dell (and other such companies) is keeping the light burning. Apple made it big as a baby in the industry… actually giving birth to the industry… but they can’t touch the success of Dell today!

The interesting thing about the Apple and Dell comparison is that Apple “stumbled upon” success and Dell had to work to overcome the previous success level and exceed in order to become more successful; hence the pay-off is greater for it.

And for Golden Oldies like Nikki Giovanni and Maya Angelou... the world is truly an oyster! They are icons of their art!

Going back to the singers - the "get-it-quick artists" stumbled upon a successful tune (that may have been pre-recorded) and that’s all the wind they had. But the long timers are the artists who are having their songs re-made. Occasionally, you will find a singer who starts off on other people’s material and takes it to another level, like Luther Vandross. Remember “A House Is Not A Home”? Well that one was recorded by Dionne Warwick another long-time Diva of the music industry. But noone seemed to realize just how empty that house was until Luther used his artistic creativity to take a “done” song and bring it to where it has never been before. He put that empty home right back on the market and then he went on to his own level of perfection.

It doesn’t matter if you make it as a newcomer or as a matured dreamer… just don’t stop going until you achieve your goals – and make it.

But most importantly… ENJOY THE TRIP! I believe that Isabel enjoyed hers. I don’t think she would have changed the timing of her Hollywood Walk of Fame Star… how can a woman born in 1917 - aspiring to be an actress when working as a housekeeper - living the African-American-limited-opportunity-and-be-a-woman top that?

Exit stage right, I say!

...and no encore necessary!

O Christmas Tree, O Christmas Tree...

2008-12-13T22:06:00.000-05:00

As a child, I enjoyed Christmas trees! I enjoyed decorating them, looking at them, smelling them (the "live" trees, that is), and I loved the anticipation and build-up of what was going to be under them on Christmas day.

But, as a young adult I began to question the relevance of the Christmas tree in respect to the birth of Christ. I mean, what is a Christmas tree REALLY about? During the brief time that I lived in government assisted apartments, I began to question the validity and righteousness of spending lots of money on a tree, decorations, and lights during a time that my sons and my peers children needed new coats for the winter. That was the first year I refused to put up a Christmas tree. I was lucky that I didn't have to look into the dissappointed eyes of my young children. They were going to my mother's house and she always made a grand event out of the Christmas tree tradition.

Chrismons™ are handmade Christmas tree ornaments of various Christian symbols. My mother makes her own Chrismons and take great pride in adorning her tree with these white, gold, and chrystal beaded beauties. I must admit, her tree does have an extraodinary aesthetic beauty... but what is it beautifying? What does it MEAN? From whence did this worship of a "tree tradition come?

How many people perpetuate this tradition as a must-have-meaningful symbol of Christmas and the celebration of one known to many as "Christ"... how many people have a clue? How many people continue the tree tradition because of the nastalgia of it all? Who want to bring to their children some of the experiences they had as children...? They pass the baton.

I know that some people have at least a clue, but most of these informed folks STILL continue the tradition in spite of the fact that they have become aware that the tree tradition is in direct contradiction with their spiritual/christian beliefs and upbringing.

Read the synopsis of the "Christmas Tree Story" that is written by another author. Then, study to show thyself approved... and rightly divide the word of truth for yourself. -- 2 Timothy 2:15

------------------------------------------------

The Story Of Nimrod, As It Relates To Christmas And Easter
Wilhelm J Wolfaardt

Nimrod, the grandson of Noah, became the first king known as Sargon I. He built Babylon and Nineveh. Being warlike, he wore a type of helmet with a horn in the front; a trait inherited by the druid Vikings of the Celts, descendants of the Assyrian line.

.
Nimrod means "tyrant". He led the Sumerians of Babylon to pay tribute to the skies (sun, moon, stars, and planets) with the sacrifice of their children. The Tower of Babel was built for this purpose, echoed in other cultures such as the Aztecs, Mayans, and Incas. Since the head of this government was such an idolatrous tyrant, Shem (Nimrod's uncle) killed him. Nimrod's mother, Semiramis, consoled the people by making them believe the child she carried was Nimrod "reincarnated" -- And named him "Duzu" (Tammuz), Babylonian for the son who rises. This Duzu went into the groves (forests) and placed a gift on a tree to honor Nimrod each year at the winter solstice. It has been said that Duzu was the offspring of Nimrod, who mated with his mother. Nimrod became known as Baal, meaning LORD, and was worshipped by the Babylonians as the sun in the sky -- thus the origin of "going to the heavens" at death.
.

Trees and branches became symbols of Nimrod. Because Nimrod was "cut down" by Shem, a tree stump became a place of honoring him. Thus, the Hebrew Scriptures speak of the pagans going into the "groves", and bringing a "branch to the nose", and going into the forest and cutting down a tree, decorating it, and propping it up a so that it will not totter. The winter solstice was the time when the sun was thought to be "reborn", so December 25th was celebrated as Baal's (Nimrod's) birthday. By tradition, the artificial idea of a New Year following this birthday celebration became an integral part of every human culture, based on this pagan idolatry. Generally, all mankind is fast asleep, dreaming this old Babylonian dream.

.
Christmas is an attempt by Catholicism to revise and adopt this paganism. In the year 525, a Scythian monk named Dionysius Exiguus visited Rome. He witnessed the ancient pagan celebration of the winter solstice (then called Paganalia or Saturnalia), and this offended his devout sensibilities. Scripture itself demands that we observe the Messiah's death, not His birth. But, since the pagan mind was so oriented around fertility and birth, it developed the way we see it today, blending the most important features of pagan interpretation. "Babel, the Great Mother of Harlots and of the Abominations of the Earth" -- has intoxicated the masses, and she herself is drunk with the blood of the set-apart ones.

.
What is her name? It's Easter! Semiramis, Nimrod's mother, became known as "Magna Mater", the "Great Mother", and was worship-ped as Mother Earth. The Sun "mated" with the Earth each spring, and the "Rites of Spring" symbolized by the "May Pole" and "Easter" came 9 moons/months before the December 25th "birth" of the winter Sun. Her Assyrian name, Ishtar, gives us the word "Easter". The Romans called her Astarte, and the Phoenicians used Asherah. The Hebrews called her Astoroth, the consort of Baal. Her emblem is the flower of the lily. She is the "goddess of the dawn", and her statue stands on a bridge in France. The French made a colossus of this image, and it now stands in New York Harbor, facing "East" -- in itself a word referring to the rising son/sun -- from which her name springs!

---------------------------------------------

So, you tell me... is the inclusion of the tree tradition with Christmas a compromise or confusion?

I have no desire to participate in the tree tradition. I CAN'T participate in it for fear that I will feel as though I am celebrating incest... worshipping someone who was considered a tyrant and thought himself wise enough to have his followers sacrifice their children. I refuse to sit in judgement of Nimrod. But, I do not have a desire to worship him and revere him as an example of my own aspirations.

-------------------------------

Creator,

Continue to bless me to be able to "rightly divide" truth. I've only just begun and I've a long way to go, but thank You for keeping me on "the path".

peace.

shYne

Toxic Shock: Relationships with Toxic People With Toxic Energy

2008-11-24T21:53:00.000-05:00

Toxic relationships can create energy forces that squeeze your spirit tighter and tighter and stunts your spiritual growth. It's a Toxic Shock! We are in "times of transitions" and many of us are seeking spiritual enlightening. Relationships can bring you face to face with the lessons that we need to learn about ourselves ... that is, if we are willing to turn the mirror to face ourselves instead of focusing on our partners or friends or co-workers. But, relationships can cloud the picture and cause more set-backs - that is, if you are with someone who doesn't share the same or similar beliefs. The bible terms this as "un-equally yoked".
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Who are the "toxic" people? They are the ones who complain all the time. They are the ones who always blame you. They may always turn things around so things you feel THEY did are YOUR fault. They overreact to unfavorable events. Does he/she seem more cheerful after arguing with you or complaining to you? Is your partner jealous, selfish, or bossy? If any one or more of these is the case, you likely have a toxic person on your hands.
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Toxic people drain your energy. It may be that they get you to spend a lot of time and emotional strength trying to cheer them up. They may bombard you with so much of their negativity that you have to spend energy trying to fend it off. Perhaps their constant pessimism infects you, or they always make you angry. They may be leeches who feed themselves by making you give them your positivity.

'
No matter which type of toxic partner you’re facing — there are positive steps you can take to neutralize the problem partner so you can deal with yourself:

'
Don’t take it personally! Do not let toxic people touch your self-esteem. Their screaming, demeaning, cynical poison is about THEM, not you. Consciously manage your mental and emotional boundaries so the toxins can’t get in.

/
Don’t compromise your values in the face of other people’s toxic emotions. It’s surprisingly easy to slip and do things we would otherwise never do — so monitor your reactions carefully.

'
Be mindful of the (natural) urges you have to fight back vindictively, to sabotage, to get revenge. If you do this, you become part of the problem.

2
Fight the temptation to feel victimized by the anyone with whom you interact. Victims feed the poison. Victims can not lead. Recognize and act on your personal power and resilience.

2
Do all these steps AND take a hefty dose of self-control? Yes.

They are better than the alternatives: lashing out or crawling into bed and hiding under the covers all day.

But at the END of the day, ask yourself, "what have I learned about myself?" If you find yourself in similar conflicts regularly, ask what you are putting into the recipe that creates the same reactions and response. This does not mean that someone else's behavior is YOUR fault.

;

But it does mean there is a lesson in "it" for you!

-------------------------------

peace,

shyne

~with whom we do assemble, we soon resemble!~

Creator, hasten to me that I resemble you... and may all others find you on their path.

If We Build It, They Will Come... If Not, They Will Take It!

2008-11-05T00:43:00.000-05:00

Indulge me.

Politics is not my game..... but spirituality and social consciousness are (my game).

I started Nov. 4th out with an alarming awareness that I was getting "up" in age. I called my 18 year old just after 7 a.m. that morning and he was in line at a voting site in South Carolina. Then I called my 21 year old son and he was on his way to a voting site. My first thought.... I am old as hell if I have 2 sons 0ld enought to vote. I called my 20 year old daughter, but was unable to reach her.... possibly 3 out of 5 children.... old enough to vote and actually voting.
.
IF WE BUILD IT, THEY WILL COME... IF NOT, THEY WILL TAKE IT!

Thinking about this brought tears to my eyes and I cried all the way to work.... "Pride" is an understatement of the emotions that I felt at this time.

But now, at 12:48 a.m., on Nov. 5th, after having heard Barack Obama's first speech as our Presidential Elect of THIS United States.... I am overwhelmed with emotion.

Statistics show that our youthful voters, aged 18-35, voted an overwhelming 66% in favor of Obama.

IF WE BUILD IT, THEY WILL COME... IF NOT, THEY WILL TAKE IT!

I am reminded that this election is so very similar to the times of presidential campaigning and elections during the Vietnam War. The campaigning presidential candidate, Bobby Kennedy, spoke of and represented positive changes in the racial environment of our country and was assassinated for his efforts. The youthful citizens of this nation rebelled against the war and against the oppositions of change... by any means (other than voting).

This election presents the same challenges .... change of our cultural diversity tolerance, as well as the War In Iraq.... the youth serve as the advocates of this change.... but instead of being in total rebellion of our system, they USED the "socially acceptable" system to administer change. They VOTED.

IF WE BUILD IT, THEY WILL COME... IF NOT, THEY WILL TAKE IT!

For all that we have wanted to do for our children and have not been able to provide... they are getting what they need, on their own.... or are they? I have raised my children to be responsible thinkers and to represent themselves as activists for social change and upliftment! This is exactly what they are doing.... taking care of themselves and of society, in the best way they know how... and I was a tool of the Creator to teach them.

It is historical

Emotional

Inspirational and

Motivational.

Barack Obama has made us a proposition

to reposition

our reputation

within our community

and throughout the world

as he promises to unfurl

our issues, challenges, and problems

he suggests that the way that we will solve them

is if WE solve them.

If he's true to his word

our interests won't be deferred

but preferred

over the the interests of a few

Whew!

I am believeing in relief

no grief

no governmental thief

to steal

our life, liberty, and pursuit of happiness.

---------------------------------------------
peace,
shYne

Why? Because it's cute!

2008-11-02T15:58:00.000-05:00

I thought this a job well done, but watch the little girl get caught out there!
(Don't forget to put my music player on pause at the bottom of the blog page!!!)

Lyrics:

Obama on the left
McCain on the right
We can talk politics all night
And you can vote however you like
You can vote however you like, yeah

Democratic left
Republican right
November 4th we decide
And you can vote however you like
You can vote however you like, yeah

(McCain supporters)
McCain’s the best candidate
With Palin as his running mate
They’ll fight for gun rights, pro life,
The conservative right
Our future is bright
Better economy in site
And all the world will feel our military might

(Obama supporters)
But McCain and Bush are real close right
They vote alike and keep it tight
Obama’s new, he’s younger too
The Middle Class he will help you
He’ll bring a change, he’s got the brains
McCain and Bush are just the same
You are to blame,
Iraq’s a shame
Four more years would be insane

Lower your Taxes - you know Obama Won’t
PROTECT THE LOWER CLASS - You know McCain won’t!
Have enough experience - you know that they don’t
STOP GLOBAL WARMING - you know that you won’t

I want Obama
FORGET OBAMA
Stick with McCain and you’re going to have some drama
We need it
HE’LL BRING IT
He’ll be it
YOU’LL SEE IT
We’ll do it
GET TO IT
Let’s move it
DO IT!

Obama on the left
McCain on the right
We can talk politics all night
And you can vote however you like
You can vote however you like, yeah
Democratic left
Republican right
November 4th we decide
And you can vote however you like,
I saidYou can vote however you like, yeah

I’m talking big pipe lines, and low gas prices
Below $2.00 that would be nice
But to do it right
we gotta start today
Finding renewable ways
that are here to stay

I want Obama
FORGET OBAMA,
Stick wit McCain you gone have some drama
MORE WAR IN IRAQ
Iran he will attack
CAN’T BRING OUR TROOPS BACK
We gotta vote Barack!

Obama on the left
McCain on the right
We can talk politics all night
And you can vote however you like,
I saidYou can vote however you like, yeah

Democratic left
Republican right
November 4th we decide
And you can vote however you like,
I saidYou can vote however you like, yeah

Are We Experiencing A Paradigm Shift Towards Communitarianism?

2008-10-28T20:35:00.000-04:00

.
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I first caught wind of "communitarianism" after I heard a political speech given and I commented to myself that this person sounded like no Republican OR Democrat that I've ever heard.... not to this extent!

I am not going to pretend that you are dumb, because it is going to be obvious who I am referring to, but he shall still remain nameless on this particular blog. It is not the individual that is so important, but the life altering philosophy.

When the speech was given, I remember thinking.... "he should start a new Humanitarian Party!"

So, I googled the candidate's name (it's almost a shame to call him a politician, given the connotations given to such a job category) and humanitarianism... both together. Although I got many hits, when I opened one of the links.... I saw his name coupled with the term "communitarian". The article really intrigued me and motivated me to dig a little deeper.

That is when I began googling "communitarianism" and came up with The Cumminitarianism Network.

Now, I haven't spent enough time reading and researching this philosophy to truly be able to give you a knowledgeable blog, but I CAN say that a sense of "truth" and "human destiny" resonated with my personal spiritual vibe.

It seems that when I wrote my blog about "Ubunto" and "...Am I My Brothers' Keeper", as well as, "Dear Mr. President, What About Autism" and my poem, "A Keeper's Keeper", "...Big Mama"... hell, I guess I wrote something that resonated with Communitarianism in all of my writings, because this philosophy is "truth" for me!

It seems that there is a paradigm shift towards this train of thought. Once you look into it for yourself, you will find that it isn't anything that is really new. In spite of the conception of this particular Network in America.... with all of the intellectual types ENDORSING this train of thought, communitarianism is as old as the tribes that originally (and still) inhabit this contenant and others. This is an ancient train of thought.

PARADIGM SHIFTS
If you understand anything about "paradigms", you would know that it is something like a hypothesis... or the road traveled to a hypothesis. You may have an understanding that something is correct; true.

In the refining process, the reality of the journey may bring about results that do not resemble the hypothesis and in its practice, it will prove itself to be "the truth" or ineffectual, harmful, unstable. If it proves itself untrue, as you continue refining the process, you can end up with something totally different than what you anticipated, OR you can return to something more like the original version. It can be a new improved version of the original, with improvements and modifications made necessary based on the metamorphisis that has occurred during the trial and error of other ways in addition to new developments... in this case... new developments in humanity... Social ills, technology, scientific understandng, greed, etc.

examples:

a) a shift to a new reality (same man - but different facial characteristics)

b) the picture remains the same, but with a "shift" in your brains perception, you can see a duck or a rabbit.... but it's the same... kind of like...the Matrix.

There seems to be a new wave of spirituality... not religion... but spirituality.... only it's not "new".... it is a return to spirituality that, in my opinion, is supporting the paradigm shift from selfishness and individuality back to caring and community.

The shift back to communitarianism started with all of these "new wave" thinkers who have taken the time and done their part by putting the idea back into the universe... from grass roots level to an "upper class" politicians and scholars ripe with educational pedigrees... I mean... degrees.

Well... that is enough from my "opinion"... form your own. Just click the hyperlink words earlier in this blog and then search for your own.

Then come back and talk to me about it.

-----Part of the Comm. Network Platform below:

Preamble
American men, women, and children are members of many communities--families; neighborhoods; innumerable social, religious, ethnic, work place, and professional associations; and the body politic itself. Neither human existence nor individual liberty can be sustained for long outside the interdependent and overlapping communities to which all of us belong. Nor can any community long survive unless its members dedicate some of their attention, energy, and resources to shared projects. The exclusive pursuit of private interest erodes the network of social environments on which we all depend, and is destructive to our shared experiment in democratic self-government. For these reasons, we hold that the rights of individuals cannot long be preserved without a communitarian perspective.

A communitarian perspective recognizes both individual human dignity and the social dimension of human existence.

A communitarian perspective recognizes that the preservation of individual liberty depends on the active maintenance of the institutions of civil society where citizens learn respect for others as well as self-respect; where we acquire a lively sense of our personal and civic responsibilities, along with an appreciation of our own rights and the rights of others; where we develop the skills of self-government as well as the habit of governing ourselves, and learn to serve others-- not just self.

A communitarian perspective recognizes that communities and polities, too, have obligations--including the duty to be responsive to their members and to foster participation and deliberation in social and political life.

A communitarian perspective does not dictate particular policies; rather it mandates attention to what is often ignored in contemporary policy debates: the social side of human nature; the responsibilities that must be borne by citizens, individually and collectively, in a regime of rights; the fragile ecology of families and their supporting communities; the ripple effects and long-term consequences of present decisions. The political views of the signers of this statement differ widely. We are united, however, in our conviction that a communitarian perspective must be brought to bear on the great moral, legal and social issues of our time.

Other points discussed in the platform:
Moral Voices
Within History
Not Majoritarian But Strongly Democratic
Restoring the Moral Voice
Start With the Family
Schools--The Second Line of Defense
Within Communitites: A Matter of Orientation
Duties to the Polity
Cleaning Up the Polity
Freedom of Speech
Social Justice
Public Safety and Public Health
The Human Community
In ConclusionA Question of Responsibility

The Longest Line

2008-10-27T13:21:00.000-04:00

Saturday, I woke up with a mind to vote. Voting early seems to be the “in” thing now in Florida… and after my long wait in line, early voting is a good damn idea!

The elements definitely worked in my favor. The temperature was a nice, non-humid-pleasant-breeze 70-something degrees at its warmest. Just days before, Floridians suffered from sweltering temperatures of high 80’s and 90 degrees.

But my first view of the line was when I was in slow traffic pulling into the area of parking lots and recreational centers and fast food joints around the hosting library. I continued to move ahead; determined to have my energies intertwined with the paradigm shift of an historical event and a new sense of hopefulness in our society. I parked my car, thinking it strategic to my ultimate destination. And I walked to the library entrance with a stoicism that probably far exaggerated my individual importance. But this event IS important.

I walked around the corner and saw at least 2 hours waiting worth of people snaked through the driveway area and into the wooded lot next to the library. Although, I didn’t physically stop, my mind came to a screeching halt! I thought that I was out of my mind for walking ahead toward the back… (Where was the back?!)… the back of the line! I know darned well, I can vote another day. It’s too nice out here to spend the time that was unavoidably necessary, in a line outside of a library on a cool, breezy, Saturday.

I don’t know if you all believe in any type of negative spirits, and I certainly don’t, but doubt entered my brain, because SURELY this was the devil talking to me! DELAY my opportunity and right to vote because it was too nice outside?! This weather was a blessing for the long wait I had ahead of me.

I got in line. Made some phone calls. I had to let folks know how incredible this line was! I was really in awe of it… AND the fact that so many people (besides me) were willing to wait! After the dust settled on my incredulity, I just looked around. I listened to a few people in front of me chatting benignly about … you guessed it – the weather. It’s like everyone was hesitant to discuss the main thing that had drawn them to this location. A voting site volunteer gave us all a heads up on a voting location that was getting the voters in and out with much less wait. He even offered additional encouragement, by letting us know that shuttles had actually come to pick up the voters from our chosen site to go and vote at this other site earlier in the week.

Secretly, I hoped that half the line would go for it so that I could move up quickly. It was apparent that it wasn’t much of a secret when a fellow voter of Jamaican decent shouted out, “Tell those people down there, so we can move up faster!” Our end of the line laughed in unison, because we were obviously sharing the same thoughts. A few people were willing to give it a go, but not too many.

That was about the time, an African-American couple ahead of me and a Latino gentleman, started discussing the obvious in a not-so-obvious way. They talked about the amendments that were going to be on the ballot. The Jamaican and I got in on the conversation and finally, so did the African-American English teacher who was behind me.

We talked about the significance (or lack there-of) of same sex marriages becoming an uncontestable part of the constitution and the financial impact that a “yes” or “no” decision would have on society and economy. We discussed whether or not the most immediate and legally correct action in regards to illegal aliens who have lucrative American businesses, would be to just send them all packing or find an alternative method in working them into our system… legally – and what type of financial impact these decisions would have. We discussed the variance in proposed tax structures of real estate property based on its usage.

Finally, we discussed our economy, our political nominees and the current events surrounding them. We all found out that we had so much in common in regards to this season of politics. We all confessed that this was a rarely discussed topic and it was a relief to know that we could discuss it with strangers without some of the absurd reactions of violence that the news has been reporting lately. By the time we’d reached our 2nd hour (still outside of our appointed destination), we were very satisfied with our choice to remain in line and the chance we took in getting to know each other. The camaraderie added so much to the experience that we were having and the memory that we were creating. THIS truly was a spiritual experience!

After I got home, I called my Sister-friend in South Carolina to tell her about my day. I spoke of my 3 Hour wait. I made her laugh at how, by the time I had grandchilren old enough to kind of "get it", I would be exaggerating my wait-time to 10-12 hours instead of 3… all to create this new world for my bratty, ungrateful, grand-brats! Although I made her laugh, my laughter ceased when she said, “you think 10-12 hours is a long time? Girl, we’ve been waiting for over 400 years!”

Think about that.

"We've been waiting in line for over 400 years."

‘Nuff said!

It Just Ain’t Economically Correct

2008-10-21T13:30:00.000-04:00

In order to fix this economy, we need to ‘fix’ how we LIVE in this economy. In school we learned all about ‘supply and demand’. But, something about that ain’t economically correct!

Is it ‘supply and demand’
Or ‘demand and supply’?
I think that supply and demand
Was a well perpetrated lie.

Maybe our educators were mis-educated
And a subliminal message was intrunkated
As our texts
Contain facts
That are whack
And our industrial giants are
Spending the money that we lack!

Because MY demand, Mr. Industry,
Is no longer based on what YOU supply.
I will no longer stick my head in the sand
And refuse accountability for accepting your lie.
With business handled your way
The world’s gone awry!

I won’t support the methods you use
Or the products you choose
And I won’t stand by as you continue to confuse
Others who may snooze
And don’t see your henchman’s hatchet.
We should stop buying your widgets and gadgets,
Your gizmos and devices.
And my insistent advise is…
For consumers to use thought and care
On how they buy
And know ‘when’, ‘why’ and ‘where’
Regarding the sources it takes
For you to create
the products we THINK we need and
you generate.

If we want to go ‘green’
We should not remain ‘red’ (with blood on your hands)
We should keep in mind - the destroyed lands
And the animals that bled…
(Just for the sake of a decorated paper wrapper adorning a burger in a Happy Meal.)

If we want to minimize wasteful products
We should stop spending our bucks
On meals and merchandise
That come with a price
That we won’t want to pay
When Karma-comes-a-callin’ one day!

Mr. Industry,
I demand and YOU supply!
Don’t get it twisted
Or try to sneak things by
We won’t keep walking down the same path that you lie!
(and you do lie)

Now, the money you made from which you invest
Spend for redevelopment and clean up your mess.
.

Out of respect for OUR ancestors,
Refrain from your dirty, little industrial secrets
And make it happen with ‘clean’ green…
The transition will be more profitable than it seems.
And, if you refuse
Methods and products I choose
Nothing you attempt to industrialize
Will ever be realized
Because a new world of consumers
Will make materialize
A Change…
of their Own …

-------------------------------------

Economical correction would call upon a new and necessary way of thinking. Well, the philosophy itself isn’t new; but, for it to be truly practiced and positively functioning, it would need to be incorporated by many people and held on to for dear life. Make ‘the changers’ of industry make a change! … and THEY will be grateful for it in the end.

My perception of a correct economical answer to today’s economical challenges would be “commu-nomics”….. As a poet, I have the write and the responsibility to make up new words (smile) if I maintain integrity while doing it.

If you look up the definitions of the words community and economics and put them together, you will have the answer. I won’t give you my perspective because I don’t want to influence my readers who may not have given this idea though. Develop your own understandings. But make sure you step quickly and definitively towards committing to your ideals and allow the transformation of your family, community, and country to begin and to be complete.

Definitions from Rhymezone.com:

Economic:
adjective: financially rewarding
Example: "It was no longer economic to keep the factory open"
adjective: concerned with worldly necessities of life (especially money)
Example: "He wrote the book primarily for economic reasons"
adjective: of or relating to the science of economics
Example: "Economic theory"
adjective: of or relating to an economy, the system of production and management of material wealth
Example: "Economic growth"
adjective: using the minimum of time or resources necessary for effectiveness
Example: "An economic use of home heating oil"

Community:
noun: (ecology) a group of interdependent organisms inhabiting the same region and interacting with each other
noun: a group of people living in a particular local area
Example: "The team is drawn from all parts of the community"
noun: a group of people having ethnic or cultural or religious characteristics in common
Example: "The Christian community of the apostolic age"
noun: a group of nations having common interests
Example: "They hoped to join the NATO community"
noun: common ownership
Example: "They shared a community of possessions"
noun: agreement as to goals
Example: "The preachers and the bootleggers found they had a community of interests"
noun: the body of people in a learned occupation
Example: "The news spread rapidly through the medical community"
noun: a district where people live; occupied primarily by private residences

----------------------------

peace,

shyne

Keeping a Keeper

2008-10-21T13:06:00.000-04:00

Dedicated to my Covenant Sisters.

I am a defender of my agreements
A steward of my pledges
And a caretaker of my allies…
Even as they ad-vise…
Me.

When I make a promise I keep it.
I focus on it.
I cherish it.
I seek assistance of spiritual sisters and brothers
to support me as I become ‘one’ with it.

They express their devotion for me
By encouraging me
To keep my pacts intact
Because keeping a Keeper is an act - - of love,
In fact…

They keep me - keeping my covenant
With the Creator
And I find my purpose to be much greater
Than I first thought
Because if I live as I ought
I will be keeping my Keepers as they keep me.
I will be keeping my Keepers as they keep-THEIR-covenant
As they were meant
To have their lifetime spent.

The Hebrew word berith, (covenant),
occurs over 280 times in the Old Testament.
And translates in English to mean
"a coming together."

So I contrive to strive to continue my journey
To “come together” with my purpose
To be one with my spiritual understandings
To join in harmony with my convictions
Without carnal contradictions
That makes a purposeless life
Worthless.
And I know all the hard work is
worth this…
Covenant Keeping.

shYne
10/21/08

BEWARE: The Color-Blind !!!

2008-10-19T15:01:00.001-04:00

"A Dangerous Race of People!"

BE AWARE! There are people among us who are a danger to all of us! They are even a danger to themselves and to others of their race. (Webster definition 2 : a family, tribe, people, or nation belonging to the same stock b: a class or kind of people unified by shared interests, habits, or characteristics - I will signify this definition with a lower case 'r').

These dangerous people are "Color-Blind". I know that it seems like I am over dramatizing, but give me a minute to explain.

First let's understand the meaning of the word as well as its usage and insinuations.
.

According to Webster "color-blind" is defined as flollows:
col·or–blind
.
Function: adjective
Date: 1853

1: affected with partial or total inability to distinguish one or more chromatic colors

2: insensitive , oblivious

3: not influenced by differences of race ; especially : free from racial prejudice

The first definition refers to "color-blind" as it relates to a physiological condition. THIS is not dangerous.

The second definition COULD indicate a dangerous attitude if "insensitivity & oblivious" means that you could care less about how things are said or done and one could be hurtful and offensive. Insensitivity in the wrong environment could even bring about danger to oneself.

The third definition plainly points out a "train of thought" that no consideration is to be given for Race ( I'll signify the 'Race' that means a category of humankind that shares certain distinctive physical traits with a capital 'R'). A person who is 'not influenced by differences of 'Race' has a color-blindness that will accept no accountability for acts committed by themselves or others they associate with that are perceived as unkind and insensitive.

They just "don't get it".

A person who is truly color-blind to race may seem to be a Hero of sorts. I mean, "WOW", CeeBee (color-blind... c-b...cee-bee) will see me as just another person. My Race means nothing to her... my Race means... NOTHING... to her.
.

Many people will say that it doesn't matter, but it does. When I get to know someone, I know more than just their name. I learn about their family, their habits, their likes & dislikes... what makes them "tick". What makes them happy and what makes them sad or angry. If I really like a person, I stray away from the behaviors that are upsetting to them because I like and respect that new friend or friendly acquaintance. If I am not too keen on incorporating them into my tribe of friends, I won't go out of my way to hurt them, but I won't worry about a lot of self-sacrifice to insure that they are in their comfort zone. So, you can't tell me that you like me, a Black person, the same way you like people of your own Race, if you do not try to get to know what makes ME "tick"... and respect "who I am and ALL that I am".

Even now, you may say, "But, I know people who are like this... you know, color-blind and they truly don't get the 'Race' thing. They are good people."

**********

New book challenges conservatives’ call for color-blind society
Whitewashing Race attributes gap to legacy of policies that favor whites, not personal prejudice or blacks’ failures.

**********

For you to be color-blind would make us an invisible Race of people... we would cease to exist.

Guess what. I know some people "like that", too - "good people". Now HERE IS THE DANGER of-it-all.

There are wolves in sheeps clothing among CeeBee and her friends. The wolves PRETEND that they are like CeeBee. They proclaim their innocence of racial upheavel that they've induced. And they only proclaim this when someone catches them and calls them out... puts them on blast. If no one says anything, they will chuckle along with their jokes and cartoons and off-colored statements. Once they are called to the carpet... they proclaim, "I am with CeeBee!" And what can we do after that? We know that CeeBee is really a "good person" -- and doesn't really... "get it".

Now I am putting CeeBee 'on blast'.

The REAL CeeBee.
.

CeeBee, things that happened in the past and happen today are NOT your doing. But you do owe it to me... as an your African-American friend, your teacher, your co-worker, (hell, your daughter-in-law or sister-in-law, half-sister, or aunt) to get to KNOW me. To be responsible ... not for the acts of some possible distant relative, but responsible for your self-awareness of why I am being treated a certain way (because of my Race) -- no matter how close or distant we may be. You ARE being held accountable for laughing at the jokes that you didn't THINK were racial (and didn't think I would find out about) - because if you watch the news or payed attention in history class, you would understand what is really going on in these chain emails that you receive -- and pass on.

You, Cee-Bee are giving cover to the perpetrators and thieves of YOUR identity. Allowing them to pretend to be you (while they hurt me) should piss you off and make you want to know how to protect your own image and character and not just mine.

Get to know me. Know what puts the move in my groove. And the nitty in my gritty. Know who I am and where I came from... and how I came to be HERE.

I once had a supervisor who didn't "get it". I truly believe that he got very little of "it" and, thankfully, refused to participate in any of "it". But I opened his eyes one day because I got him to realize that his not "following it up" didn't change the INTENT of those who would bring about Racial dis-harmony. I had a Chinese co-worker who said, "...you people..." I am aware that our conversation, at the time, could in no way imply any negative racial meaning, and I understood that she was farely new to the United States. But, I was also aware that if she said those words in the wrong place and in a slightly more questionable context, she'd find trouble. She didn't "get it" when I explained it to her, but she was grateful none-the-less because her intention was not to make any Race uncomfortable or angry.

CeeBee, I mean no harm... as good a person as you are, I don't want you as my supervisor, my President, my Judge, or any position that gives you the authority to rule for or against me. I don't want you to patrol my streets because you won't understand or "get" the danger that could be right in my face. You won't be able to determine that I am truly being harassed, disrespected, and discriminated against for jobs.

You only bring more harm to me. Be responsible. Pay attention. Be accountable for your self-education. That good friend on your job "that happens to be a Buh-lack person" will undoubtedly be more than happy to answer your questions instead of the questions revealing your awe of "how we get our hair THAT way" when we wear natural styles. We want you to know us and understand us... but you just aren't interested.

I like who I am. I like who you are. We couldn't be who we are without the influences from each other. An individual Race should not be ignored or "pretended that they don't make a difference", because if who I am no longer 'counts',

than I will no longer BE who I AM.

------------------------

AFTERWARD

I don't want to blog directly on political issues.

And I won't start with this one.

But it just so happened that this "color-blind" issue has raised it's beastly head again in one of the latest political blunders during the current Presidential campain.

........

The Chaffey Community Republican Women, Federated Newsletter was sent out this month (October) stating that "if Obama is elected his image will appear on food stamps -- instead of dollar bills like other presidents." The newsletter then sports an illustration of the "Obama Buck", which is an obviously a phony $10 bill with a picture of Obama's face on a donkey's body. He is surrounded by a watermelon, ribs and a bucket of fried chicken. The denomination is written on the "money" alongside a label reading, "United States Food Stamps."

200 members and associates of the group received the GOP newsletter by e-mail and regular mail last week. Because of the harsh criticism and the outcry of racism, Diane Fedele, the President of the the group, claims that she will send a letter of apology TO HER MEMBERS, and offer an apology at the next meeting.

Many of her own group members, as well as elected leaders, and party officials are among the complaints that she hears. It seems that she has not considered the fact that Senator Obama is deserving of an apology nor other African Americans who are offended (whether rightly so or not) by what many perceive as a blatant act of racist disrespect.

Ms. Fedele seems to be of the "color-blind" race.

Click here to read about the details of the "Obama-Buck-Dianne-Fedele-You're-F***ed!" incident:

http://www.pe.com/localnews/inland/stories/PE_News_Local_S_buck16.3d67d4a.html.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
.

Are people "Color-Blind" or

are they perpetrators of

"Polite Genocide" ?

Well, here is a kinda-sorta example of the acceptance of "polite genocide"... I just looked up the word "genocide" in http://www.webster.com/. Guess what... the finding came up "no entry"... but the related links came up with "Darfur". The webster site has not eliminated the possibility of there being a valid reference, but they chose not to provide a definition of a word that has a lot of meaning and usage for many of us in today's world. It was polite, but it did nothing to provide service for anyone inquiring the meaning of the word "genocide". Very "Polite" genocide of the reality of Racial conditions in our world and society today.

And by the way, genocide is "the deliberate and systematic destruction, in whole or in part, of an ethnic, racial, religious, or national group. This word has been in use since approximately 1944.

Let's put our energies toward "Cultual Diversity" and not "Polite Genocide".

---------------------

Peace,

shYne

RANT: I'm A "Big Mama"

2008-10-19T12:25:00.000-04:00

I have had some experiences lately that truly defined for me what a "Big Mama" is... what a "Big Mama" does... and I now know that I am a "Big Mama".

"Big Mama" is a moniker used, (usually in African American, Hispanic, and other "like" cultures) which is usually defined as a large woman. Her large stature is usually a depiction of a tall, heavy-set person... either motherly or it could be meant as voluptuous and sexy... depending on who the "Big Mama" is and who is defined her by that moniker.

But there is an old definition with renewed significance for "Big Mama"- emerging in our culture. This "Big Mama" may or may not be large in size, but she is large in the characteristic and personality of a 'Mother to All". This is a woman who handles her business with her children, her significant other and extended family by blood or association. Her extended family consists of neighbors, friends, children's friends, co-workers, and so on.The "Big Mama" of today teaches, trains, consoles, rejoices, disciplines everyone who has touched her big heart. She takes the time to talk to you. She will cry with you. She even helps you to pick up the pieces of your heart or broken expectations and bring the glue to help you to put them together again. Maybe she will just stand by and watch protectively as her loved ones learn to "do the fixin' of themselves for themselves'.

---Baby Mama Drama can bring out the "BIG" in a "Big Mama----

Not long ago, my husband was hospitalized. I was already in 'planning mode' prioritizing the responsibilities that I would be taking from his plate. I knew that my daughter had to be taken to school every morning and that both my daughter and son needed to be picked up from school in the afternoons. I realized that I just started working and, especially in today's economy, it wouldn't be a good thing for me to take too much time off from work just yet. If I had no other choice, then so be it. I would take off without hesitation for the sake of my family responsibilities.
But, I know that I DO have a choice. "S's" biological mother lives in the same city and a reasonable distance away from all these activities. I chose to call on her for assistance. I made the call, but couldn't get thru because (again) she had run out of minutes on her flex cell phone account and could only be reached by members of her "MyFaves".

With a "MyFave" status, she can call us without going
against her minutes... As long as her monthly bill has been paid, she can have
no minutes and still call her 5 "MyFaves".

There have been many times where she has needed to contact my husband and I - or we needed to contact her... each time she insists that she is going to add one of our cell phones to her "MyFaves"... of course, this has yet to happen.

Making a long, long story short - I got thru to a mutual friend and asked her to call "S's" mom and ask her to call me. When she called, I told her that I needed her to pick-up my "daughter S" from school, keep her overnight, and take her to school the next morning.

She told me that she "couldn't".

Could NOT.
I found out later that she told our mutual friend that she "wouldn't".

Regardless, I refused to respond... I let her chatter and banter away at the reasons she had for not being able to be responsible for OUR "daughter, S". The daughter to which she gave birth. I was not shocked or even the slightest bit surprised because this response from S's biological mother was typical. But what I did feel was fed-the-f***-up!

In the end, she took care of my "daughter, S" in the way I instructed. Yes, instructed. I relayed it as a request for the benefit of "good manners" and I really desire to keep things peaceful. But when she objected, I did not back down. SHE had no choice.

Later during the day, I decided that I would just go get "daughter, S" from her bio-mom because I didn't feel good about how "S" was negotiated as a thing or circumstance. I would rather have her at home with me.

Bio and I engaged in conversationg that evening and revealed a lot about what we thought of each other. She told me that I liked to control things with "S". I accepted being told that I "control" things with "S" and how I had to have things my way and how Bio-Mom had no say. I explained that I controlled things because I didn't understand how Bio could call me and ask me, "What do we need to do about 'S' "?, when my husband has a medical emergancy. Why is she asking ME this? Does she not know HER responsibilities?

I told her that I felt that believed me to be like a hired hand that is only in a relationship with "S's" father and tolerated by her, Bio-Mom, just to take care of "S"? Am I the hired Nanny? I love "S" and I do what I do for her out of love... not obligation. So, "Yes", I take control of the situation. If she doesn't know what she needs to be doing, then I will have to give her instructions.

Of course, she tells me that I SHOULDN'T "feel like a Nanny". And I, not so patiently, explain that I don't feel like the Nanny, but I do believe that Bio-Mom sees me as such. I explain that I do want her to have control and decision-making privelege (that's right... privelege) regarding "S"... but not at my expense... not for me to have to follow thru.... SHE needs to be around and be involved in her daughter's life. She WILL NOT lay down rules while practicing 'remote parenting' with the expectation that I will follow through with her wishes, commands, and desires.

She asked me... no she screamed at me in a high-pitched irritating voice, "When do I not do something for "S" whenever you ask me to?!! Calmly I explain to her... "Number 1, YOU should not be the one asking ME what "S" needs. YOU are not doing ME a favor. Your argument and claim is that this is YOUR daughter. Number 2, you do what I ask you to do for her because I leave you no choice. I do for her all the time and from day to day and I know what our other needs are and I only ask you to do something when there is a conflict. Even though there is freedom for feedback and opinions, my requests are not open for discussion or comprimise because the "real" mother is the one who quickly steps up her game and "takes the wheel".

I then offered her a way that would save us all any future conflicts of this type. I asked Bio-Mom to relinquish her parental rights and allow me to adopt "S". That way she won't be expected to do a thing unless it is a real favor (it seems as though she thinks a favor is what she is doing... helping ME out).

Yeah, I did that.

She was livid. Screamed and hollered for more than a few minutes. Then she cried... I know this because I had to go over and take "S" her medicine. We talked. I backed down from nothing... I meant every word... and the offer is still open... It would be my pleasure to be "S's" legal "Big Mama".

I have the nerve, the audacity, and the unmittigated gall to ask a mother to let me have her child. But you know what?

I am her "Big Mama" anyway.
-------------------------------------

Peace,
shYne

I'm Coming Home, South Carolina!

2008-10-05T13:29:00.001-04:00

Hallelujah!
I'm going home to South Carolina!!

Four years ago I moved to Florida for a change. Although it was a year after my "then" boyfriend" moved, I was supposed to move before him. The move was prompted by a need from both of us for a change. When we first met, we talked about where we would like to go. I had two choices... Florida and North Carolina. His two choices were Florida and Virginia.

During our first three years together we discussed it often. His reasons were not the same as mine, but none-the-less, we both had the state of Florida in common. His needs included a more positive and progressive educational experience for his autistic daughter. Mine was a desire for a different and more multi-faceted social experience for my sons. I also had been in SC for 25 years and I just needed a good-old-fashioned-plain-old change!

So, in 2004, my "boyfriend" moved to Florida in between hurricanes and electrical storms. One year later, I followed. Sierra had experienced a pretty good school experience here for one year, but the school faced some financial restructuring that did not include autism. So, in to the public school systems she went.

What a miserable experience for us all. We spent a lot of time, picking her up from school early. They didn't have the training and the manpower to manage a classroom full of autistic children. For a short time she went to a school which was attended by students of any and every disability in the area. Another fiasco.

One of my sons improved considerably here and the older was moving quick to "nowhere". I made some school changes for him that started him on his way to a greatly improved mental condition. But, the program got greedy and didn't want to release him back into the typical public school environments.

Well, I rebelled and had my oldest son "deployed" to my home state to live with my brother in the Charleston area. He has continued to improve so much. This child is college bound with more self-control and discipline than I could ever imagine.

My youngest son has gone from being 3 grade levels behind (in the third grade, he wasn't reading at the 1st grade reading level when we moved here) to right on target with just a minimal amount of tutoring needed to manage at his appropriate 6th grade level. I believe that as long as I remain attentive to his educational needs and progress, he can continue to improve.

Sierra has had a great experience at a new school, Princeton House Charter School. She has learned and grown so much. WE have all grown! Not only does the school teach and train the children, but the parents as well. She has just started her 3rd year there.

By now you may be wondering,

if the children that remain in our household are doing well,

why would we be considering a move?

-We have no family support here.
-My "then boyfriend" and "now husband" has experienced deteriorating health issues which have been attributed to the hot and humid climate in other cases... so maybe his, too.
-At my age, I have enough "personal summers" on my own. To have these hot flashes in this climate is beyond miserable for me.
-... and did I say, We have no family here?
Well, we have no family here. (3 times a charm!)

For three of the four years, I have done google searches every 2 to 3 months to see what "new thing" is happening in South Carolina, Georgia, North Carolina, and even Northern Florida for Autism.

-There is a school Georgia, but it is so far west I might as well stay here.
-North Carolina drew a blank. Nothing.
-Northern Florida has them but some tuitions ranging from $500/month - $34,000/year!

Sierra's school is free! We'll stay here first.

We recently started looking at Charlottesville, VA. There is a school there and my husband's parents are there.

Now, this school hasn't opened yet. They have a start date pending of Fall 2009, but you can visit their website if you go to my list of links on the right-side menus and check out what they have so far. Funding will be needed and appreciated because it will cost $35,000 per year per child.

If you can help financially, please do. If you can't, meditate on it or say a prayer or both.

It has already been put out into the universe as a possitive and real solution to a real challenge.

In 2009, a school for Autism will be in South Carolina, People!!
MUSC is right in the same city! So, the medical situations will be promising at the least!
My middle son is in the same city!
My oldest son just 2 hours away!

Now I am going to look at educational opportunities for my youngest son!
and a job for myself!

Pray for a sistah!

_____________________

shYne

Sand and Stone!

2008-10-01T10:00:00.000-04:00

A story tells of two friends who were walking through the desert. During some point of the journey, they had an argument, and one friend slapped the other one in the face. The one who got slapped was hurt, but without saying anything, she wrote in the sand:

"TODAY MY BEST FRIEND SLAPPED ME IN THE FACE"

They kept on walking, until they found an oasis, where they decided to take a bath. The one who had been slapped got stuck in the mire and started drowning, but her friend saved her. After she recovered from the near drowning, she wrote on a stone:

"TODAY MY BEST FRIEND SAVED MY LIFE"

The friend, who had slapped and saved her best friend, asked her, "After I hurt you, you wrote in the sand, and now, you write on a stone, why?"

The other friend replied: "When someone hurts us, we should write it down in sand, where the winds of forgiveness can erase it, but when someone does something good for us, we must engrave it in stone, so no wind can ever erase it."

LEARN TO WRITE YOUR HURTS IN THE SAND AND TO CARVE YOUR BLESSINGS IN STONE.

Author Unknown

________________________________

Creator, teach me to write!

your daughter,
shYne

Dear Mr. President, What About Autism?

2008-09-30T23:13:00.001-04:00

Dear Mr. President,

I supported your campaign and preached "the good word" about your qualities and attributes. I have heard what you've had to say about foreign policy, economics, finance, community projects, and the like. I even felt a little "warm and fuzzy" when you spoke of the struggles your mother fought through and fought against in an effort to raise her children, work two jobs, and put herself through school. I can relate to needing government assistance during different periods in my life when I had young children in my home to care for.

I know that you feel that our educational system is deprived and needs to be restructured to fit the needs of the individual students, as well as the needs of the country. Even health care has been a subject to which you have a plan to maximize coverage opportunity for every citizen of the United States.

But what about autism?

I have a daughter. We call her SiSi. She's only 10... going on 11. She is a beautiful child. She's sweet. And, boy is she sharp?! The schools have tested her and determined that she is at the 4 year old level educationally, but she is a smart child.

I tell people often that she is a child first and autistic second. She can wrap her daddy around her little finger with the rest of them. And contrary to popular belief, she is extremely affectionate.

Though she is not going to hold a conversation with you, she does speak... primarily she'll call out items from the four food group when she's hungry... but just this evening, she told me, "I Love You"... "Tickle, please".

Some autistic children and adults are very functional. You can only tell that there is a developmental issue or comprehension issue in regards to personal relationships... or reactions to certain things like crowds of people or maybe certain places. Other children and adults are extremely low functioning. No speaking, difficulty walking, difficulty sitting, perform no tasks without being prompted and maybe not even then. Many of autistic children and adults have gastro-intestinal issues. Most autistic people require hands on involvement 24-7 and/or supervision.

Many autistic children have behavioral issues that range from mild to severe. I know. I have been all but beaten up by my SiSi. (smile)

Mr. President, there are many diagnosis that are in the autism "family" and these are grouped by the name "autism spectrum". Do you know how many children and adults have been diagnosed with some aspect of the autism spectrum?

1 out of every 150 people

are diagnosed with some form of autism.

That is a lot of diagnosis. That is a lot of people.

I have been told to leave grocery stores by shoppers when SiSi has a tantrum.

Adults become vengeful when she lashes out at them.

Children and adults watch her when she is just making noises (that don't sound like words, but I believe they are her words). They watch her self-stem (shake hands, rock her body, making bumping motions with her head repeatedly). People say very mean and ignorant things. Not ignorant as in stupid... though at the time that is how I figure it... but ignorant as in "lacking in knowledge". But instead of asking questions or just observing, they speak and say hurtful things.

Yes, we've been stared at,
criticized
ostrasized
talked about
ridiculed
and shunned...

But, did I say 1 out of every 150? The chance is good that someone they know has or will have an autistic child! They should be taking the time to learn a little something.

The public schools are very inefficient. The "OK" private schools starts at approximately $500/month. The "good" private schools range from $24,000 to $32,000 per year in the southeast. The charter schools are few and far between... and in some states schools designed just for our special children are non-existant.

If you have a child with behavior issues, you will spend maybe thousands of dollars per year replacing broken things (or going without). You will spend lots of money on doctors who don't except the type of insurance you have on your job and surely not Medicaid!
And Medicaid gets cut along with special programs for education and family support & training every year! Meanwhile, the number of diagnosis per year increases.

And do you know what the most suspected CAUSE of autism is, Mr. President?

IMMUNIZATIONS

By the way, immunizations are now suspected in having a hand in Alzheimers patients. It's always the very young and the very old that cannot fight off diseases or withstand extreme temperatures... and now immunizations. The simple fact that Government no longer requires that children be immunized and no longer have a mandate that "non-immunized children can not attend school" speaks to their awareness of the primary suspect for the cause of autism. Immunizations are "products" of Government... a product (once mandatorily administered) for which the Government refuses to accept accountability by way of retribution.

Non-compliance from parents might have lead to child neglect or endangerment charges. If Government could be held responsible and accountable for their involvement, what charges could families with autistic sons, daughters, brothers and sisters, aunts and uncles... what charges could WE place on Government. So, without admitting a thing... Government subtly dismantled control of the distribution and usage of mercurized immunizations and today, we can sign a waiver. If Government admits fault, it makes itself liable for lawsuits.

Now, immunizations are not handled today the way they were handled when I was growing up. I took the Measles, Mumps, and Rubella immunizations separately. That is separate viles with a smaller amount of "preservative" per vile. I guess I should tell you that the preservative that is used is Mercury. There are many chemical names for it.... but Mercury is what it is, right? Today the Measles, Mumps, & Rubella immunization is combined and sealed in a tube that is used for three... not one... but three administrations. That means EXTRA Mercury is used to keep the deal fresh!

At the age that the MMR is administered to children is usually around the time that the symptoms of Austims starts to rear its head. (hhhmmm ... are they symptoms or SIDE AFFECTS?) There are some other cases where immunizations seems not to be the cause, but the majority can be represented in this scenario. In SiSi's case, she showed symptoms a bit earlier than that. You see, she was a "premie". Her first injection was one that was to help her lungs mature quickly. And there was a preservative... Mercury.

This is the same Mercury that was used in the production of felt hats in France during the mid 17th century. Due to the concentration of Mercury and the long term handling of it, some hat makers had reportedly gone "mad"... The Mad Hatter... need I say more? (http://corrosion-doctors.org/Elements-Toxic/Mercury-mad-hatter.htm)

There are already class action lawsuits against Government in regards to these findings. but I know the Government has a way of delaying the process until it can sweep everything under the rug.

But, there is another way to handle this. Use the money, that should be a lucrative judgement for the plaintiffs,

.....(1) towards education... not just education of our children, but education for the community. Parents are still getting their children immunized WITHOUT the knowledge of the possible dangers; sometimes doubling up on appointments if one has been missed! Government has not so much as issued a warning of the POSSIBILITY of autism.

.....(2) Use the money for special training of those who will be caring for autistic people - educators, behavioral therapists, speech therapists, occupational therapists, child pyschiatrists, counselors, medical professionals (you'd be surprised how many of them are clueless in handling autistic children), AND families with autistic family members.

.....(3) Use money to assist with home health care. We parents are getting old and may have difficulties managing everything for our children.

.....(4) Use money to build special, professional, monitored group homes and provide assisted living for those to whom this is a viable option.

At the rate that autism is increasing coupled with the fact that we are soon to have a society full of autistic adults whose parents have died with no family members who are willing enough or care enough to offer real support,

"if society doesn't invest in future of autism now,

SOCIETY WILL PAY LATER".

Well, Mr. President, there is so much more to be said on the subject, but we are running out of time. Parents of autistic children are getting older. Homes are crowded... and quite frankly, our family isn't comfortable with the idea of placing our "sometimes behaviorly challenged" baby in a home where underpaid, untrained workers will want to "get her back".

Help us develop schools.

Find away to make Medical Care affordable.

HELP US FIND A CURE.

It's a tough fight... but we can do it together!

YES, WE CAN!

And with...

Respectfully Yours,
SiSi's Mom
--------------------------------------

shYne

Am I My Brothers' Keeper II

2008-09-30T21:30:00.000-04:00

While doing a query to gather information for my previous post "am i my brother's keeper", I stumbled upon this video.

There are races of people who have been enslaved. Races of people who have been in concentration camps. Races of people who have been moved from their land to another. Races of people who have not been treated with equality.

But the indiginous people who are featured on this video have been subjected to it all.

Please take the time to really watch this video and to really listen to the real life story being told.

Scroll to the bottom of the page and "click" the pause button on the music widget.

I want you to be able really listen to this video.

Now that you've watched the video, what are you going to do about it? You may feel that because you are not Native American (unless you are), you should be fighting for "your own" people. Let them fight for themselves!

You see, by not being our brother's keeper, our numbers are often too few when we need to represent a cause on the behalf of humanity, equality, retribution, and respect. Most of us share similar histories and experiences and often at the hand of the same violators. Why not ban together and make "it" count for ALL people.

Even the government is at a stale-mate on their bale out because law-makers are arguing to have provisions in the bill for people of many walks of life... not just investors, bankers, and realtors.

If someone in Uncle Sam's army is trying to grab a clue, shouldn't we?

peace

shYne

Ubunto (Ubuntu) : am i my brother's keeper?

2008-09-27T20:28:00.000-04:00

“Ubuntu” is an ancient African word, meaning “humanity to others”. Ubuntu also means “I am what I am because of who we all are”.

"Ubunto really means that I am because you are. We belong
together. Our humanity is bound up with one another. We say in our languages, a person is a person through other persons. A solitary human being is a contradiction in terms. I learn how to become a human being through association with other human beings."
- Desmond Tutu

Nelson Mandela explained Ubuntu as follows;

"A traveller through a country would stop at a village and he didn't

have to ask for food or for water. Once he stops, the people give

him food, entertain him. That is one aspect of Ubuntu but it will have

various aspects. Ubuntu does not mean that people should not

address themselves. The question therefore is: Are you going to do

so in order to enable the community around you to be able to

improve?"

Please forgive me for the rambling that is sure to come forth. But, I've been pondering this for a few days and I have not yet come to a conclusion as to my current "condition" in this matter.

The matter in question?

Am I my brother's keeper?

I am not asking a general question.... but a question specific to me, shYne.

Am I my brother's keeper?

I SHOULD be my brother's keeper. To me, that is a very important aspect to our very human experience. To understand and celebrate the "One"-ness in the midst of our diversity is an important challenge and step towards understanding ourselves as creations of the Creator and ourselves as vessels of the Creator. We are one. That understanding of others is also an understanding of ourselves. To "keep" my brother is to "keep" myself. To honor myself is to bring honor to my brother.

But in spite of my having this belief that sounds so very much like "Ubuntu" to me, I am not effectual as a keeper of my brothers. I am prejudiced towards my clan. I don't allow my arms to extend any further out to embrace humanity in the form of an individual interest/relationship. I care about humanity as a whole, but I don't get personal. I don't "know" my brother.

I haven't always been this way. I used to do a lot more socializing. I had a variety of cliques or clans or groups that I was "friendly" with. People brought me joy. But eventually, in many cases, those same people caused me pain. In some cases, I brought pain. I learned that by weaning myself from an active social life, I greatly diminished the opportunity of hurt feelings, envy, disappointment, covetousness, obligation... yes, and the joy that is also a part of embracing humanity.

A part of the pain, has to do with "Getting Over Myself". I spoke of it in my first blog. When people have issues, I want to fix it. Not being able to fix it is frustrating and stressful. The effort that is put forth in fixing people's problems are many times ineffectual because it is either not enough or the people themselves don't want to be fixed. I won't dwell on that part, because I am getting over myself.

But the "sense of community" that I desire, I will never have if I never step out into the world and get to know my community.

WHAT DOES BEING MY BROTHER'S KEEPER ENTAIL?

Now THAT is the question. The answer? Let me work on this while I write out my therapy:

I know that it means if I can help someone in need, I should do so. This does not obligate me to do everything... all the time... for someone. But, if I can offer a reprieve - then do so. If I go beyond what I am able to afford in regards to finances, time, other resources, I am doing a dis-service to my family... so this can't be a good thing. And I shouldn't feel any guilt for drawing a line. I AM responsible for making my brother aware of that drawn line, though. If I allow my tendency to feel guilty for NOT being able to "fix it" override this simple rule, it would be like leading someone on. I don't want anyone to feel that I have committed to do more than I truly can or will.

Being my brother's keeper may mean that I have to step out of my comfort zone to offer a word of wisdom or encouragement or support... WITHOUT being anymore involved in my brother's business than he/she wants.

Being my brother's keeper means that I walk "my talk". I need to be forever conscious of the morals, ideals, ethics, spiritual beliefs that I claim to have and be an embodiment of this belief.

Being my brother's keeper means being "connected" enough to not only feel their pain, but to truly celebrate their joys.

Look after each others' children.

Pray for each others' spouses.

Break bread with one another.

Comfort each other.

Play together.

These are Ubuntu characteristics. These are characteristics I aspire to have. But there is no need for me to have them, if I don't have the mindset to share it with others.

I worked hard to UN-socialize. I'll have to work just as hard to learn to RE-socialize.

I want to share love without prejudice.

I want to enjoy the joy that relationships can bring.

Now that I am learning to love without the need to control the uncontrollable... or the personalities and souls that are not mine to control... i believe that I can grow from future experiences.

Let me just find the strength to open my door and step outside... in the sunshine.

peace,

shYne

Squirrel: What is your message to me?

2008-09-27T13:03:00.000-04:00

I have been seeing the same squirrel for two days now. Up close and personal. Not too far from my front door. I know it is the same squirrel because he is no longer nervous when I step out on our balcony. He is as comfortable with me in his space as I am in his. You see, we share the same space. He is less of an invader than perhaps I. But we are accepting of each other's presence.

After seeing him the second time within an hour on the first day, I wondered what he had to tell me. What message do you have for me, Squirrel Spirit? You haven't entered my space by coincidence, happenstance, or circumstance... but you are here boldly... not trying to leave me or abandon me before I get your understanding.

So, to help myself along, I googled and the words you see below are the first that came up to define the message that the squirrel brings to us... if we are keen enough to acknowledge his presence. It just so happens that his message is right in line with where I am spiritually on another aspect of my spiritual life that I am in the process of evaluating.

So out of respect and with thanksgiving I will share with those who do not know the message of the squirrel totem.

Gathering, Activity, Preparedness.
The gathering power of Squirrel is a great gift.

It teaches us balance within the circle of gathering

and giving out.

They remind us that in our quest for our goals,

it is vital to make time for play and socializing.

Squirrel teaches us to conserve our energy for times of need.

If your totem is Squirrel or Squirrel has recently

entered your life,

lighten your load of things that are unnecessary

– things that you have gathered in the past

and may be cluttering your life

– thoughts, worries, and stresses.

Squirrel is also the totem of action.

Ask yourself are you too active, not active enough,

afraid of enough,

hung up on accumulating and collecting.

Squirrel people tend to be a little erratic

– trying to do many things at once.

Take the time to stop and listen to your inner self

– and don’t forget to play!

---------------------------------------

Now, let me go and meditate and give thanks to the Creator for the squirrel and others to follow.

peace,

shYne

Just Breathe...

2008-09-25T13:05:00.000-04:00

While the Homebuilding marketing was on a fast and furious decline, I struggled daily with the task of getting price decreases from contractors and vendors. I fought the management of my employing company to keep my participation non-existent in activities that were of poor ethics and maybe a little bit illegal. We terminated the relationships of many of our suppliers. Real men and real women who I learned to like and respect as people… as mothers and fathers of children… as husbands to ailing wives and wives to hard-working men… I learned to like them as friends.

And as my heart would break for them, I knew that regardless to how good a job I did for my company by getting the suppliers to work for pennies - by creating an environment so competitive they stabbed each other in the back… I knew that there would be massive lay-offs that would include my position.

Every day I was angry and depressed, sad and excited; at each change of events there was a different emotion to be felt and it was all very stressful. Stressful on my mind. Stressful on my spirit. And stressful on my body.

On one particular day, I was taking a much needed break. A co-worker and I were discussing whatever the latest chain of events had just occurred. A third co-worker had come along and he jokingly participated in the conversation. But as we started to head back to our prospective offices and workspaces… the third co-worker said, “OK, Ladies… Breath in Jesus; breath out peace.”

What? !!!!

He was being a little bit funny… but only a little. He was mostly serious.

Now, don’t get me wrong. I don’t have a thing against Jesus. I mean, even though I don’t “classify” myself as being a part of the traditional denominations or doctrines, I grew up on Jesus!

This guy just sounded a little obnoxious. So, I paid him no mind and kept on with life.

But recently, I ran across a bit of information that has made me take another look at my co-workers advice. I read that correct breathing can minimize stress.

Correct breathing.

Now there’s a thought. CORRECT breathing. Is there an incorrect way to breathe? If you are bringing air in and out of your lungs… is that not correct?

Well, there is a correct way to breathe.

Try this.

BREATH IN REAL SLOW and hold it for a few seconds…
Did your chest walls expand wide? Or did your torso draw up and expand in height?

Okay. Now you can exhale and breathe normally.

If your chest walls expanded wide, then you are breathing correctly. If your torso draws up, more so than out, then you are stress-breathing.

I started doing this exercise of correct breathing and I really felt more relaxed and calm. Now, I am conscious of this during my meditation and I have taken it a step further. I breathe in positive healing energy and breathe out love. Love for my children, my husband, my family and friends…. Love for all of the creations of this world and for life… Love for all things and all people. Sometimes I focus on one person or one aspect of my life and sometimes I am embracing the universe all at once.

Breath in ____(A)______ and breathe out _____(B)____ !

What’s on your ‘A’ and ‘B’ list?

Chat: Claim Your Journey...

2008-09-23T21:45:00.000-04:00

Focus.

Stay on track.

Don't lose sight of your purpose.

Make use of the life you are blessed to live today.
Don't let it be for naught.
Be equally accountable for your actions and your lack of action.

Make every moment, every circumstance, every word... count.
Give your life thought, contemplation, and understand it's value.
Be filled with love and not resentment.

If resentment is your "filling", re-evaluate the INTENTION of your actions and commit to making a change. It will be your blame, your fault, your shortcoming, your weakness... or your reward.

Only YOU are responsible for the way you feel.
----------------------------------
. (recent yahoo chat)
.
.
Woman 1: i'm here.... was on coffee break... sorry

Woman 2: K I forgive u
Woman 2: Liked your blog
Woman 2: No more coffee breaks

Woman 1: glad you liked it
Woman 1: i will probably write something else in there today or tomorrow.... but I have it set up that every time I enter something new, you get it in your email

Woman 2: Cool
Woman 2: Needed an outlet..huh
Woman 2: My signal keeps going in and out...its raining

Woman 1: not really.... needed to do some expressive activity.... some writing.... keep from getting rusty.... and it seems to help make me more conscious of the decisions I make and the life lessons i learn

Woman 2: You r so deep

Woman 1: no, i am not deep... but i want to be
Woman 1: have you ever had the feeling that you were just "skimming" across life?
Woman 1: not because you are shallow... but because you are so busy with the carnal things in life... you get caught up in people and their personalities and schedules and grocery shopping, school meetings.... seems like you miss the whole "purpose"

Woman 2: Hell yeah
Woman 2: I feel like that alllllll the time

Woman 1:.... but if you keep a journal.... just the "writing" of it all... makes you very conscious of the decisions you make and the decisions you need to make. try it
Woman 1: it's like "putting your thoughts out in the universe" and making them become a reality.... "the words you speak have spirit and life"

Woman 2: we as women are conditioned to live life as if we were just floating on through. Each day melds into the next. We spend all our time nurturing, giving, helping that by the time it comes to us, there is nothing left
Woman 2: but who are we to complain... its expected of us

Woman 1: see... now that is a subject to blog about.

Woman 2: this is why a lot of women stray from a marriage and become neglectful of those whom she has charge over
Woman 2: people don't realize that its not easy to multi task everything, everyday

Woman 1: see, THAT's deep

Woman 2: that ain't deep. girl that’s my life

Woman 1: i know... but articulating it makes you own it. accept it or change it. be "about" it or be "about changing it"... for yourself.

Woman 2: i used to think that I was the only one out there who felt as if the world around me had walls and I was being sucked into a vacuum and the only way out was to go deep inside my mind and escape

Woman 1: i hear u... and u are not alone!

Woman 2: but when you escape, thoughts appear and usually, they're not good

Woman 1: when i am running behind one... running with another... hunting down the next one, and another, and his brother, and dodging my mama, and trying not to take other folks foolishness ... when do i have time to feel like my life is my own?

Woman 2: that's when we, as women, start thinking that the grass on the other side looks greener

Woman 1: why must we take a back seat to our own journey?
Woman 1: crazy!
Woman 1: but honey... it ain't grass, it's astro-turf... that mess ain't even real

Woman 2: we don't matter, in a sense

Woman 1: but we actually matter the most
Woman 1: and we have to realize it before we can make anyone else realize it.

Woman 2: we play second-fiddle to all around us. And its not just in our homes but all around us
Woman 2: we take other peoples burdens and then they become ours
Woman 2: without us, there will be no foundation
Woman 2: there will be no family structure

Woman 1: and who will take our burdens?

Woman 2: chaos would rule
Woman 2: but then, they would find a way to blame us for that as well

peace
shYne

Getting Over Myself

2008-09-22T12:46:00.001-04:00

Do you have health challenges? Struggles with your relationships? A dullness to your marriage? Your kids just won’t listen?

Dunt – du-na-naaaa! I’ll don my cape and fly to your rescue! Look up in the sky!! It’s a bird! No, it’s a plane! No, it’s “Super shYne”!!!!
.
.
.

NOT!
-----------------------------------------

I am struggling here because I am being faced with issues that bring about the same feelings in me ... my desire to respond a certain way and I know it is not appropriate. So, I am learning to deal a different way.

When people I care about and/or respect are having hardships and challenges... I want to "fix" it.

I can't... "fix" it.

The words I want to say are words that I hope would motivate my friends to think positively about their circumstance. Mind you, these are people who "handle" their "trials and tribulations" relatively well anyway.... better than I handle mine in some cases. I may be able to offer a little assistance or a small financial reprieve... but it is hardly a dent if it is not a true resolution to their problem. I know that theirs is not my experience to have... but it pains me to observe others having their "experiences".

Although compassion is a good thing, I know that it is not my place to intervene in the Creator's works. As the Creator is refining Her/His creations... my meddling may bring about experiences that I would choose not to have. I have been chastised for this before and didn't realize what it was about. Some things I just take too far.

So, I asked myself. If I can't talk my friend into a better state of mind or being... if a "joke" is not appropriate... if I can't pay the bill for them on a regular basis... or buy their weekly grocery... or find the answers that medical doctors, healers, and spiritual counselors can't find... then what am I to do?

I AM TO LISTEN AND OBSERVE.
For a well-meaning meddler, this is a difficult task. But it must be done. The listening is as much for me as it is for my friend. This is how I learn some lessons or learn some possible resolutions that may help me or someone else in the future... or right now! This is how I can truly be an intercessory host thru prayer for this person... I will know what to meditate on and what to meditate for!

I AM TO MEDITATE/PRAY WITH PURPOSE.
I used to have an issue with the "ritualization" of spiritual matters... but i understand that the rituals are like benchmarks of where we are, what our purpose at that time is, and simply, a conscious effort to sanctify a moment of communicating love and admiration. I love my friends and family. But I am not the One. I do not have total control and all power. And it is not “mine” to find the answers for others any more than it is “mine” to judge others.

I AM TO LOVE UNCONDITIONALLY.
The desired outcomes of my friends may not be the same as the desired outcomes I have for them! Can you believe that? I couldn't either. But it's true. While I am meditating that things work out for the better, there's a chance it may come to pass... but not as I thought it would. It is the best outcome or the desired outcome of my friend.

To comfort and console and support would be a massive achievement for me. And,these attributes are more in line with what my friends actually want from me anyway. So, I am "getting over myself" and bettering my experiences and relationships with the same effort and intention… minding my own business.

peace
shYne