Toxic relationships can create energy forces that squeeze your spirit tighter and tighter and stunts your spiritual growth. It's a Toxic Shock! We are in "times of transitions" and many of us are seeking spiritual enlightening. Relationships can bring you face to face with the lessons that we need to learn about ourselves ... that is, if we are willing to turn the mirror to face ourselves instead of focusing on our partners or friends or co-workers. But, relationships can cloud the picture and cause more set-backs - that is, if you are with someone who doesn't share the same or similar beliefs. The bible terms this as "un-equally yoked".
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Who are the "toxic" people? They are the ones who complain all the time. They are the ones who always blame you. They may always turn things around so things you feel THEY did are YOUR fault. They overreact to unfavorable events. Does he/she seem more cheerful after arguing with you or complaining to you? Is your partner jealous, selfish, or bossy? If any one or more of these is the case, you likely have a toxic person on your hands.
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Toxic people drain your energy. It may be that they get you to spend a lot of time and emotional strength trying to cheer them up. They may bombard you with so much of their negativity that you have to spend energy trying to fend it off. Perhaps their constant pessimism infects you, or they always make you angry. They may be leeches who feed themselves by making you give them your positivity.
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Who are the "toxic" people? They are the ones who complain all the time. They are the ones who always blame you. They may always turn things around so things you feel THEY did are YOUR fault. They overreact to unfavorable events. Does he/she seem more cheerful after arguing with you or complaining to you? Is your partner jealous, selfish, or bossy? If any one or more of these is the case, you likely have a toxic person on your hands.
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Toxic people drain your energy. It may be that they get you to spend a lot of time and emotional strength trying to cheer them up. They may bombard you with so much of their negativity that you have to spend energy trying to fend it off. Perhaps their constant pessimism infects you, or they always make you angry. They may be leeches who feed themselves by making you give them your positivity.
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No matter which type of toxic partner you’re facing — there are positive steps you can take to neutralize the problem partner so you can deal with yourself:
No matter which type of toxic partner you’re facing — there are positive steps you can take to neutralize the problem partner so you can deal with yourself:
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Don’t take it personally! Do not let toxic people touch your self-esteem. Their screaming, demeaning, cynical poison is about THEM, not you. Consciously manage your mental and emotional boundaries so the toxins can’t get in.
Don’t take it personally! Do not let toxic people touch your self-esteem. Their screaming, demeaning, cynical poison is about THEM, not you. Consciously manage your mental and emotional boundaries so the toxins can’t get in.
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Don’t compromise your values in the face of other people’s toxic emotions. It’s surprisingly easy to slip and do things we would otherwise never do — so monitor your reactions carefully.
Don’t compromise your values in the face of other people’s toxic emotions. It’s surprisingly easy to slip and do things we would otherwise never do — so monitor your reactions carefully.
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Be mindful of the (natural) urges you have to fight back vindictively, to sabotage, to get revenge. If you do this, you become part of the problem.
Be mindful of the (natural) urges you have to fight back vindictively, to sabotage, to get revenge. If you do this, you become part of the problem.
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Fight the temptation to feel victimized by the anyone with whom you interact. Victims feed the poison. Victims can not lead. Recognize and act on your personal power and resilience.
Fight the temptation to feel victimized by the anyone with whom you interact. Victims feed the poison. Victims can not lead. Recognize and act on your personal power and resilience.
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Do all these steps AND take a hefty dose of self-control? Yes.
They are better than the alternatives: lashing out or crawling into bed and hiding under the covers all day.
But at the END of the day, ask yourself, "what have I learned about myself?" If you find yourself in similar conflicts regularly, ask what you are putting into the recipe that creates the same reactions and response. This does not mean that someone else's behavior is YOUR fault.
Do all these steps AND take a hefty dose of self-control? Yes.
They are better than the alternatives: lashing out or crawling into bed and hiding under the covers all day.
But at the END of the day, ask yourself, "what have I learned about myself?" If you find yourself in similar conflicts regularly, ask what you are putting into the recipe that creates the same reactions and response. This does not mean that someone else's behavior is YOUR fault.
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But it does mean there is a lesson in "it" for you!
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peace,
shyne
~with whom we do assemble, we soon resemble!~
Creator, hasten to me that I resemble you... and may all others find you on their path.
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1 comment:
Great reminder for dealing with the adversities that come up sometimes in close and not so close relationships. One of the earliest childhood lessons that I was given was concerning the need to Ignore ignorance. First it's important to recognize it as such. That does require being brave enough to listen carefully to the complaints to see if they have any validity. Then of course it's important to look at the "Complainant" and determine what THEY are willing to do to resolve the situation and move from their present condition. Ultimately to not engage or indulge behavior that leads to more of the same is my goal. Ignoring, not giving any energy to, redirecting my energy in a positive way is truly a challenge at times.
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